rumble in the distance

see?

2012-02-10T12:23:00.000-05:00

I have been image light on the blog these days...here is a photo booth shot of me in the studio and one of the foamy-blobby-thingees- I've been making.

Happy Weekending!

being 90

2012-02-10T11:14:00.000-05:00

Knots. My stomach ties in knots when I have to deal with difficult things. Like when the honest/correct/right way to do something eludes me. What I have come to realize is that people that declare something about themselves is often not true. Like a certain family member of mine who says, "I am a good christian" when in fact, she isn't. Far from it. Or, "I am a good guy, really, I am" - it is like a mantra they tell themselves so they begin to believe it. As far as I am concerned, I am going to buckle down and start to be more quiet - and listen to my intuition. And if someone in the future declares something about themselves - I will think twice about my relationship and communication with that person.

What are some other statements you've heard people make about themselves? Are they ever true? Sometimes this getting older thing is fun...the longer I live the closer I am getting to beginning to figure stuff out. When I am 90 I am going anticipate stuff before it ever happens. muuhahahaha

move it, move it

2012-02-08T10:04:00.000-05:00

It is decided - Wednesday morning will be my get work done mornings - paperworky here I come. I will slay you! muhahahahaha.

I am planning on entering a few fiber exhibitions to get in on the fiber mania in Philadelphia this coming spring. I didn't get into the fiber show at the Crane building. poo. Refocused on other sights. My plan is to finish a few of the foam blob/quilty/vintage fiber pieces and submit them. They are finished in my head and they are good. Sooooo - now to meld my mind with my hands. The eternal task of the artist. Isn't it?

Oh also, Rolfing was painful and I am not sure how much it helped. I have had headaches since I got it done, am a little sore and my right hand did fall asleep this morning. Rolfing as a cure for carpal tunnel for me? Not so much. What I did find out - which totally freaked me out is that my right thumb muscle is beginning to atrophy. whaaaaat? I know. scary. Apparently it is a side affect of carpal tunnel. And really, I have had it since 2004 or so. I am planning on making an appointment with a Dr. soon. My mind is all over the place...I am ready to move it, move it into the studio. After I make an appointment with the dr.

rolfing and reading

2012-02-06T08:49:00.000-05:00

I have an appointment to get rolfing done today. What is rolfing you say? It is a *2 hour* deep tissue massage that I hope helps my carpal tunnel. Dr. Oz says it is like having yoga done for you while you lay there. Hmmmm. If it doesn't work, up next....acupuncture!

I woke up this morning and feel like changing things up - do you ever get in a mood where you declare (in your own head, of course) "today I will not drink any more soda", "I will get rid of our tv", and "I will become a vegan". Then, I sit down at the computer, feel a little sleepy and grab a soda from the fridge (oh, I'll just have one today) and then realize I want to finish watching the show I started last night when I fell asleep (so I turn on the TV) and then make myself an egg sandwich ( I can't waste them) and slap on a slice of cheese (I'm eating the egg, might as well go all the way). This is me lately, true story.

In other news, I have been spraying more foam into fabric and am having some interesting results...now, if I can get this carpal tunnel thing taken care of I can work on these pieces some more.

Most of the house stuff is done - well, stuff that I can do without climbing a ladder on the roof - which I don't really want to do. I can envision myself falling through the skylights into the kitchen below. I think my special treat for myself today is to read a bit before I begin taking care of business 'round here. What a treat. No, seriously, uninterrupted reading time? Yessssss. Happy Monday everyone - hope your day is full of rolfing and reading.

a restorative kinda day

2012-02-03T15:06:00.000-05:00

What did I do today? Not a whole lot....feeling a little run down, achy and tired. So- I finished up a few things, sprayed some foam into fabric and caught up on some hulu episodes of my fav shows. What did you do today?

from www.luuux.com

The piggy and his teenie tiny rain boots (and I) wish you a Happy Friday!

a snow shovel? The forecast is calling for 63 degrees today.

2012-02-01T10:07:00.000-05:00

I went to a small family-owned hardware store yesterday. Matter of fact, I went to one the day before - still family owned but a different one. I go there when I need advice, because really, I want to support small business and I don't mind spending a few extra bucks to get the correct teenie tiny light bulb or granite polish. Really, that is what I went to the store to buy. So lame - I have not been doing anything that is much fun at all lately. School is pretty great and my students are pretty fantastic. On the homefront, not so exciting. spackling again? yup. Painting again? more? yup.

Weeeelll, I was leaving the hardware store (where I bought a $7 teenie tiny, but the correct, light bulb) and there was a woman with a kicking, singing, happy toddler-ish boy in a stroller. Since the hardware store is so small - there is no ramp and the space inside the door is a bit tight. I thought to myself, how is this lady planning on shopping there? So, I asked her if she needed any help, "Do you need help with something?" she responded, "Yes, can I give you $10 for this snow shovel, can you go in and buy it for me and I will wait here?" Wait, what? I meant I was going to open the door or help lift her kid over the steps or something. I thought for a minute, she must think I work here, I do look a bit hardware-y paint-y today (as I have for the past ahhhh 4 to 6 years). But no, this woman took me up on my offer. It felt weird, I just meant to open the door. I was expecting a response that required, I don't know - maybe a 10 second time commitment. I wasn't about to say no to this woman - it was such a specific and easy request. I thought to myself as I walked to my car (after purchasing her snow shovel) that sometimes we offer help and expect to hear a "no thank you" back. It made me think about the times when people ask if they can help and I say no. I always say no. I don't want to put anyone out. And really, I don't imagine many people expect a "yes - that would be great - you can help me". Maybe we offer help because it makes us feel good or because we don't expect to actually do anything. Just offer words. Have you ever taken someone up on an offer for help? Or had someone say, "Why yes, I would love help - can you x,y, z this?". Oh and the funny thing was - we haven't really had much snow and the forecast is calling for 63 degrees today - in January. I think that is what also made the request seem a bit odd. Well, that nice lady has a good shovel if it ever snows.

Off to paint...happy Wednesday people!

falling in love all over again

2012-01-30T15:46:00.000-05:00

Friday got away from me - between meetings and working on project "sell our house and buy our dream house" days are flying by. But they always are, aren't they?

Well, Since Friday I:

caulked (hee, hee) and painted trim in living room (both parts of it - there are two rooms - difficult to explain)
did some touch up spackling and painting here and there
painted the ceiling (the worst home improvement task ever. EVER).
painted two sets of stairs (risers and treads)
put a clear coat of varnish on the newly excavated stone wall (yay - it loooks cooool)
polished the marble counter tops
cleaned out the pantry
put the living room back together (and "staged" it kinda sorta)
put up super hip and oh so cool new closet doors in the bedroom
installed a new laundry collection area in the bedroom
gave baby girl a bath (I can put that on here, right?)

I think is everything. I also emptied the dishwasher a bagillion times, did some laundry, got some stuff ready to be returned via snail mail, dropped stuff off at the thrift store, got an estimate on getting the house painted (the exterior) and whew...... I have been a busy beaver and I am a bit exhausted...my carpal tunnel is telling me so. I also polished off a whole bag of pizza rolls, ate some doughnuts and had a few to many drinks of "encouragement" (rum and coke) as we call them around here.

I am ready to work in the studio on Wednesday - gotta patch a few places, clean up my mess and then make some more stuff.

What have you been up to?

PS - It is true - I am falling in love with our house all over again - just in time to sell it. That is the way it goes it seems.

Is it Wednesday already?

2012-01-25T08:57:00.000-05:00

We may have found the dream house we always wanted....a house we never thought we could ever afford. (the dream is still alive...it has a garage) beeep, beep, beep - the lifeline for the dream is a little stronger. Buuuuut we have yet to put ours on the market so as you can imagine we are speeding up finishing all the details of our house. I am getting some work done in the studio here and there. There is so much potential with the stuff I am currently working on - which is exciting and a bit daunting. But I can go to the studio for a few (or one) hours and get some stuff done - one more experiment or combination of materials. I am waiting for that "click" moment to happen - ya know - when everything is right and the work tells you what it wants to be. I am patiently working towards the "click" and will be happy when (and if) it shows its face. Too many analogies? Perhaps!

I watched the state of the union address last night. Did you? There were moments when I wanted to clap, scream and shout - "right on Mr. President, right on!" but there were also moments when I thought to myself...the machine that is Washington DC can't be changed. But then I thought that Obama was more forceful than I have ever heard him. Resolve? I don't know. I want to believe him, I want to hope and have faith that he can change things - I just don't know if I've got that optimism left in me for the state of politics. How 'bout you? I have to admit that there is a bit of disillusionment going on at our house in regards to politics.

Off to paint more trim! Happy Wednesday everyone. Is it Wednesday already? woow.

feminist, hypocrite, manipulative person? maybe.

2012-01-23T12:22:00.000-05:00

I have a love/hate relationship of shopping at Lowe's by myself. I love getting materials that I know how to use in aisles where there are mostly men. I hate being stared at and have people assume that I am lost or I don't know what I am doing. Or even worse, that I am just picking up materials for my husband...just running an errand along with picking up the laundry and going grocery shopping. ug.

I was feeling somewhat defeated at Lowe's today because I kept trying to start up conversations with people. I always try to start up conversations with people at the store - it is like some weird challenge to me. There was a guy that cut 2x4x10s for me into 2x4x5s. (I couldn't fit them in my mama mobile at 10 footers) Carlos (I remember his name, don't know why) used the panel saw and stacked all 7 - 2x4s on it and proceeded to slice through the wood like butter, with almost no effort. (FYI a panel saw is awesome) I didn't know that you could do that - stack 7 - 2x4s that is. I use a panel saw for just that - panels. So I told him, "Wow, I didn't know you could do that. I have a panel saw in my shop and I just use it to cut plywood" No reaction. Not even a "huh" or a grunt or anything. I was relating. I was trying to anyway. Weird.

Now let me be politically incorrect, when I am at Lowe's I have two personas that I knowingly flip back and forth between after I feel out a situation. One persona is the tough girl "I got this" kinda thing. The other persona is "I am a girl in a hardware store and I need help" or what used to be the "I am young and kinda cute, please help me" but after aging and having G I am not so sure the latter works at all anymore. So most times, as you would guess I go the "I got this" tough girl route. Well, as you can see from the panel saw experience - that wasn't working.

After Carlos cut the wood for me - I used one of the big-ish carts and rolled the wood to the lumber area check out. I waited in line behind one person and it was my turn to pay next...only - a guy came up to me holding a light switch plate saying, "baby girl, you mind if I just pay for this". Now....he had proceeded to treat me as the "I am girl in the hardware store help me" persona - which annoyed me. Of course I said yes and he said "what a blessed girl you are, thank you". As he rounded my cart he looked at it and said, "Now baby girl, whatchu gonna do with all those 2x4s?" I had a couple different answers swirling around in my head and luckily the nice one came out. "I am going to teach a sculpture class. The students have to make a sculpture using only one 2x4." and ya know what the guy proceeded to say? "oh, hmmm, You go on giiirl" All in one instance - his perception of me changed.

What is the point of all of this? I am a feminist, yes I am. I think I may also be a hypocrite. Maybe even a manipulative person. I hate going to Lowe's. I really do.

the dream'

2012-01-20T09:07:00.000-05:00

Today is a better day. We are working so much with G about playing with others. I hope it is working. I will keep you updated on my not so perfect parenting stuff.

I spent a few hours the other day in the studio spraying foam and trying not to get any on my hands. (because that stuff is crazy sticky - I once had a student use sandpaper to get it off and nearly sanded off his fingerprints - oh, and the foam was still there) I tried to make a wreath for the front door. What I tell myself is that I can do diy projects for home. But during the process I continually ask myself questions I would ask about my art. It creates this weird experience for me and then I realize I am no good at making Martha Stewart-like decorations for the home. I am not. I must remind myself of this. The decorations for my home don't have to communicate in the same way my art does. So after spending 2 hours working on a wreath for the front door - it is neither good enough for the front door - or good enough to be considered art. It is just a limp, bright red, sad, doesn't know what it wants to be, thing. Oh well. Lesson learned, for now. Until I try to do it again. Probably next week. Remind me to stop it, would you?

What did happen on Wednesday that was great but I don't want to talk about it too much buuuut....I may have had a teenie tiny break through. The kind that offers so much potential and so many ideas. I have been feeling really stuck in the studio and this is so exciting. It is like teetering on the edge of something - it isn't a cliff, it isn't a fall to death, it just might be a plunge into a river of chocolate (or something else amazingly yummy and decadent). On the edge peering into the unknown, I can't see what is really there. I don't know if I will fall backwards into the same old comfortable stuff, I don't know if I will fall into a pit of snapping alligators or break my leg and fall down the canyon. I also don't know if the deep dark abyss is filled with red satin and puppy dogs and the smell of babies. That is the thing about this art business....you never know what is to come around the corner. Sometimes that is what is great about it and sometimes that is what is terrible about it. I am always curious enough to find out. Aren't you? And in the end, it isn't ever terrible anyway.

For the past 6 months or so in the studio I have been gluing fabric to wood panels. It feels right and good and somehow cathartic. I think the light was at the end of the tunnel - because last time glued tiny pieces of fabric to wood - I was very quickly bored with it. Good sign. Time to move on.

I think we all have ways of working creatively that we go through the motions, spend time in the mind and physical creative space - but it just isn't right. What we are making isn't what we really want to be making. But the funny thing is, we can't figure out what we should (or really want to) be making. I may have figured it out for now. Knock on wood peoples, knock on wood.

Oh, and I am going to look at real estate today. Keepin' the dream alive. Keeping the dream alive.

Happy Friday.

time travel

2012-01-18T09:35:00.000-05:00

I can't get my mind off of the fact that my daughter got in trouble in preschool yesterday. She intensely loves a little girl in her class - it is her very first BFF and she loves playing with her. Buuuuut, sometimes she only wants to play with K and no other kids. So - she wasn't letting other kids play with them yesterday. My daughter is a leader, a leader of a bunch of girls at school (so says the teacher). I can't help but have the movie mean girls flash into my head. Being mean and excluding others needs to be nipped in the bud NOW - while she is 3 and learning how to play. She also could work on being a little less "willful" (as the teacher put it - I said she was stubborn). I sometimes get a response that a teenager would give and my life flashes forward 10 years, "don't talk to me", "leave me alone". Oooooh boy - lots of time travel happening in my mind today. It kills me for my daughter to be anything but kind to others. I know that what we do now with her will follow her in life. We are setting the tone for her behavior. She knows better, I am sure that she does. I have given birth to a strong girl. Now, she needs to learn to use her powers for good - not evil.

Today is a half-studio day. Now if I can restrain myself from cleaning up around the house and get my butt up to the studio - that would be great. I have some plans of beginning the "muffin top"sculpture piece. I also want to make a red wreath for my door. Doing something creative and letting my hands and inner voice guide me through some things? Sounds good to me. Let's see how this goes....

aaaaand we are back. Oh, and Happy Tuesday!

2012-01-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

shhhh do you hear that? Birds chirping, the fridge humming and Ed (the dog) snoring. It is the first day back at school and I am up and ready an hour and a half early. Why? you say - well, that's what happens when you have kids - gotta go, gotta go.

My plan is to come back to blogging - not everyday - because frankly, how the hell did I do that? My plan is to have posts 3 days a week. Because ya know what? There are a lot of thoughts rumbling around in my head and I need somewhere to put them. Well, besides facebook and twitter (the latter of which I don't like much anyway and seems like a recipe for disaster drunk-dialing style - sometimes recording your thoughts instantly isn't such a good thing)

Soooo - my last post - the dream. The dream of a building that would house a gallery and studio. Oh, and living space. That is the plan. Still working on it. Still finishing details at our house to get it ready to sell and still looking at wacky properties. A row home with a bath house and an in-ground pool? In the middle of the city? I wanna see it. No, strike that - I NEED to see it. A building with a Tae Kwon Do studio, parking in the rear and underneath Route 1? I NEED to see that too. A building that hasn't been occupied since the 1970s and hasn't probably been renovated in over 100 years? Dream building people, dream building. Maaaaaybe. Anyway - my curious real estate needs are being fulfilled (at the very least) and our house is getting finishing touches that we should have done a long time ago.

Since I will be back to blogging - I will also be back in the studio more this semester! I have no idea where to begin or what I want to make. What I do know is that spending time in that space (both mentally and physically) will be great. I have applied for a few shows, been inspired by some things, been reading a bunch (on my ipad - which is soooo fantastic)! I lied. I may have one idea.

What I think I may do is to create works around the idea of "small acts of liberation". You know what I mean - like when you reach for another potato chip and you think to yourself, "Fuck it, I DESERVE that chip" and so you dive into the bowl and grab a handful. I know you can all relate, right? Right now I have an idea for a piece that deals with flesh and the tension and gravity of squeezing a bit too much where it just won't fit. Picture a muffin top. An artistic interpretation of a muffin top. Yup. I went there.

I have also been thinking about making a mound of doughnuts. Fabric doughnuts. Not an original idea by any means - but there is something about it that appeals to me. I have an idea that the doughnuts will live on in thought - not in actual making.

Speaking of making, my carpal tunnel is crazy right now. Between computer stuff and fixing up the house - I am a mess. Oh, and did I mention that last time I wore my wrist brace I had poison ivy? Well, I did - so now, I have poison ivy on my right arm - right where my carpal tunnel is. Poison Ivy in the middle of winter? you ask. Yes, it is just that ridiculous. Yes it is.

And I keep saying things like, "Speaking of which...." to lead into something I want to say. Except that it never really connects or makes any sense.

Happy Tuesday everyone. Happy Tuesday.

the dream is still alive

2011-11-18T09:06:00.000-05:00

it may be on life support for now...but it is still alive.

Apparently getting a small business loan approved you need to show prior experience with owning a business. That option is out. A serious Catch 22 people.

And apparently if a building is zoned as mixed-use commercial it will be difficult to get a residential mortgage. That option is still being explored.

beep, beep, beep, beep.

Do you hear that?

Mission statement is written. Business plan will be created next semester.

beep, beep, beep, beep.

The dream will be alive one day....just gotta keep it on life support until it can be fully revived.

beep, beep, beep, beep.

So if this is the case...I will be spending a little bit of money buying handmade gifts for the holidays...instead of saving all my dimes to get a giant building.

beep, beep, beep, beep.

No losers here - just hittin the pause button - and still daydreaming and looking up at the stars.

beep, beep, beep, beep.

resolve....kinda

2011-11-15T09:02:00.000-05:00

I have resolved to feel better about myself - if not for the sake of myself...for the sake of my daughter. Not on purpose - but I haven't been obsessing over what I eat and what I weigh lately and truth be told...it feels goood! This is why....

On another note - I am talking a lot to everyone I know about something I want soooo badly - a material possession (I know, bad bad) A building I saw in Philadelphia last week - that I NEED to have. My husband and I want to start up a non-profit community based art gallery. This building in the Manayunk area of Philly - PERFECT - commercial/retail space on the first floor - living space - actually 2 apartments on the 2nd and 3rd floors. Parking out back - roof top deck/garden. Full basement? check. stained glass ceilings? whaaat? yes! original tin ceilings? ummmhmmm. wood floors. yummo. Leaving all the 60 years of the stuff from the family behind? YES! $500,000? um, yes. Unfortunately. But I have to try. I HAVE to try. I have plans with many people to attempt to secure funds...we have to sell our house first. Heck, we have to finish up some stuff and list it. But ya know what? I want to know if we should take this risk. I want someone to tell me what to do. It is both the blessing and the curse of being an adult. Making your own decisions and living with the consequences. All good things have come from great risk, haven't they? As long as my little family is safe and secure...let's proceed. I am talking a lot about this because frankly, I don't know what else to do. I want to talk this risk into the world, believe in it - imagine us living there for a long time...like it is our "forever" house. I want to enrich community. I want to offer exhibitions of my colleagues to a new audience. I want to help - I want to connect - I want to live richly (more richly than I already am). Not in the sense of $$ but in a sense of my connections with people and what I can offer the world while I am here. So, should I (we) take the risk? sell our house, buy an amazing building, run a gallery and say hell no to a "normal" life? I think so. I just need someone to tell me it is a good idea. That we should. That I will live in regret if I don't.

inspired

2011-10-28T09:07:00.000-04:00

I was lucky to be in Boston last week and even luckier to go see the DANCE/DRAW exhibition at the ICA in Boston. it BLEW.MY.MIND. seriously. Doris Salcedo work in person? so moving. A video about a ballerina's last dance? killed me. An apparatus made of rope, clothing and steel pipes for a performance artist to "perform" in? soooo great.

And the two images below...actually made me giddy. With art so many things are possible (sorry, I stole that phrase).

Janine Antoni, Butterfly Kisses, 1996-99, Cover girl thick lash mascara on paper

Daniel Ranelli, from the Snail Drawing Series, 1994-ongoing

I think what I loved most about the show was the ability of the artist to usher in chance - to let go of some of the control of the work. There was also something about how ridiculous the work was - in a good way. Or maybe some of it was just downright silly.

Needless to say, the ICA Boston is now one of my favorite museums. Among my favorites (and goals to show in) are: Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago, Museum of Art and Design in New York and now the ICA Boston. My favorite museums are a combination of a number of variables that include smart architecture, inspirational exhibitions, views from the windows from the interior of the space to the outside world, the number and level of helpfulness/happiness of the guards. Subjective aspects of a museum perhaps - but all of these places "speak" to me...I would LOVE my work in them!

Happy Friday. BTW, I need to start posting again. right? right? yes?

4 things

2011-10-05T10:41:00.000-04:00

Thank you Diana for the comment on my last post - the vision of my tether to the world right now is made of tiny kisses is so wonderful. A new piece is bouncing around in my head with this idea.

I came across this blog post today and I can't NOT post a link. No chocolate in our house this Halloween - now if only I could convince my family. hmmmm.

I have been making a little, hanging out my family as much as I can (which doesn't seem like enough these days) and trying to get things done at work. I had a rough critique with my class a few days ago - I intend to be very clear with them this morning - passion for art resides in them or it doesn't. I can't make someone want to make art.

Talked to a good friend last night that always help me put things in perspective. I am so grateful.

discombobulated

2011-09-30T09:22:00.000-04:00

I am feeling discombobulated - more than usual. I have a schedule of sorts but I feel out of it- out of rhythm - out of sync. Kind of like when you take Sudafed and your head is floating above your body unattached. Except my whole body feels like it is floating above something - not sure what - maybe floating above my to do list?

Imagine my body floating in the air tethered to a thin string.

I have been making work a bit - little material studies involving embroidery hoops, thrift shop clothes, lots of stitches and old pieces of wood. BUT - my wrist and arm continue to fall asleep and go numb throughout the day and often when I am trying to sleep at night. stupid carpal tunnel.

My teaching is going well- I am so inspired by my students.

I have been listening to a lot of Regina Spektor - yummm.

Nothing can top kisses from my G - especially when she says "I love you soooo much mama" and plants a teenie tiny kiss on my arm when we are cuddling.

Happy Friday! I am going to try and ground myself a bit.

2?

2011-09-19T16:25:00.000-04:00

Will I post ever again? I don't know. I want to, I really, really want to (I think). The amazing amount of hours I thought I would have to myself with school starting back up again is just not happening. I have an hour or so here or there...enough to check up on email, stalk a few people on facebook and go on my merry way to take of motherly, wifely or professorly duties.

I have been thinking about new work and squeezing in time to make it when I can. Right now all I can say is that it involves covered buttons, wood, stuffing and vintage quilts. All good stuff.

I have also been looking at real estate and dreaming of possibilities for my family - ahhh - isn't that fun?

I may be back. Hopefully sooner than later. Maybe when I am back to teaching 3 classes instead of 4.

getting my s**t together

2011-09-12T09:27:00.000-04:00

It has been a while. I miss posting everyday. I can tell because there are so many random thoughts floating around in my head. Thing is, I don't if I will have time to write this year. I can't imagine having a year slip by with no recording of what is on my mind, how my baby G is growing and in general - having a record of time.

Blogging for me is an all or nothing situation. I am feeling at the moment that I may not have much to offer. I often feel like I am just hanging on the runaway freight train. Should I make time for this? Maybe. Maybe instead of watching crappy shows after G goes to bed would be the time to blog. This could be refreshing in a new way. Or maybe I should just read a book instead.

I might just need another week to get into the swing of things and get a pattern of the week without Kelly Drive being closed and crazy amounts of rain.

What I am thinking about right now:

I think I may have poison ivy AGAIN. Yummm - lovely red dots all over my right arm. Inspiration for art perhaps?
Making art over blogging may be my priority for now.
I brought in a bunch of studio stuff from home to my office. I am loving it - I feel much more "me" here now. Why have I waited this long? My job isn't (and shouldn't) be different than me. Art is me. That was weird to write that sentence.
I love teaching - stretching my brain and learning to be both creative and prepared again. whew.
My brain feels like my ouchy legs from yoga this week. But the pains remind me that I am growing and getting stronger (hopefully mentally AND physically)
I need to get some applications together for exhibitions.
Sacrificing what we can to send G to a great school makes me both anxious and proud.
I NEEEED a studio for next semester. Anyone want to offer a free, convenient big place? ha.

Ok - just goes to show my mind is all over the place - I just stopped the list and sent two emails that I almost forgot about.

Maybe I need more yoga? Or maybe just some time to get my poop together.

Are you there?

2011-08-03T09:28:00.000-04:00

Summer is happening and is wonderful. School is coming soon and my mind is brimming with thoughts. I am looking forward to coming back on a daily basis in September (or maybe sooner). Until then, think cool thoughts:

On second thought, that isn't so cool. Hmmmm sorry about that. They are sweet though, aren't they?

like sandpaper

2011-07-16T12:19:00.001-04:00

Where have I been? Hanging with my family- that is where. And working out a bit too. woohoo. I went to yoga this morning and for the first time in the long time, I felt STRONG. I know my legs and arms are stronger from carrying G but I haven't had anything to compare my new strength to - until yoga this morning woooo. The class went wicked fast and I feel great. My mind couldn't quite quiet itself this morning - even with all of those cleansing breaths. I am not really sleeping well either. The only thing that quiets my mind and gets me out of a circling rut of worries and thought is being in the studio.

I just finished up a wedding present for friends of ours - and it was fun to make. Sometimes making work for people can be fun and I *think* I made something they will love. If anything, it is thoughtful and every decision I made in the process of the work was meaningful.

In the past hour, I finished up that piece, thought (and got excited) about a new direction for my work and sketched a bit. Nothing like studio time and some music to force me to keep my thoughts at bay for a while.

It has been a rough week on a number of levels. Next week should be better. Sadness, anger and bitterness just feels like rough sandpaper on my skin. Rubbing it raw for the first time in a long time.

to good health and well being

2011-07-09T10:24:00.000-04:00

It is 10:15 and I already worked out. I haven't worked out since G was born - well, except that one time I did Mommy and baby yoga and got ringworm. I decided to do a spin class to push myself because if I would have gone and walked on the treadmill - not many calories would be burned. I didn't stop pedaling and felt like I was going to puke towards the end...but I did. I.DID.IT. And, husbandy said he was proud of me when I got home. That made me feel so good.

Anyway - I just don't like working out. The sense of accomplishment? yes. The hopeful weight loss? yes. The feeling while doing it? no thank you. I guess working out is my penance for eating like crazy the past few years. All I know is that things have to change...I need more energy and want to feel better about myself. I don't want to only wear size XL, I don't want to feel envious of skinny people, I don't want to feel embarrassed when I see old friends I haven't seen in a while. Somehow while looking at recent pictures I thought to myself, "How did I become that woman?" Well, hopefully when I look at pictures in a few months I will have the answer to "How did I become that woman". We shall see.

Happy Saturday. To good health and well being.

ramblings of mid summer

2011-07-08T10:08:00.000-04:00

Just because I haven't posted in a while doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about posting. I still love you. I just feel the need for a little less technology this summer. Really, I do still love you.

I feel like I need to make art sometime soon. I think I may bring some stuff down to the kitchen table and work there. The treehouse is a bit hot right now with the 90+ degree weather outside (and with a nice rower girl living up there for the summer!)

I need to teach myself to be o.k. with mess. I really do - this is what makes it so difficult to stay home for long stretches at a time...I feel the need to clean up ALL.THE.TIME. and I kinda hate that about myself.

I do not like the Wonderpets show on netflix so of course, G loves it.

There is a play cash register that is malfunctioning and it keeps saying "let's play" every couple of seconds over and over. NO, I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU cash register lady voice!

We have been doing a bunch of traveling around the past month....Well, since the end of May. We are going to spend some more time at home. It should be wonderful, as long as I can restrain my OCD cleaning self. Mind you, my house really isn't that clean. I just can't stand a floor full of toys or messy dishes everywhere.

I just started editing photos that have been in my camera since late May. I don't look in the mirror much and I am not usually in photos because I am always the one taking them. I gotta say, I can't stand the way I look. I really can't. It is difficult to reconcile this with my feminist self that says, "who cares how I look? it is what I think and how I feel that matters". But in all actuality, I can't stand the way I look and it occupies so much of my thoughts lately it is disturbing. Because how I look does influence how I feel! Today is a new beginning of eating less. I think I may try a spin class tomorrow @ the gym. Only thing is - I don't even know where to begin. Eat less? I know. Move more? I know that too. Thing is, should I eat fake food - i.e. splenda like stuff or just less real stuff? i.e. sugar. I am not really into the fake food thing but it feels like that is a way to ingest fewer calories. BUT I don't want to eat a bunch of chemical crap. So, I guess I am going to eat real food and less of it. Fewer carbs, more veggies, less dairy. Maybe I need to challenge myself? I don't know. Ug.

I also don't want to set up a lifetime of struggling and thinking about food, calories, etc. I want to be healthy and happy. I don't want my daughter to think about vanity as much as I do.

Pain comes from desire.

Oh and Happy Summer!?

life

2011-06-30T10:18:00.000-04:00

Life is what happens while you are waiting. Life is now - we are surrounded by it - it doesn't only happen on the days when you visit family, make plans, etc. Life is going on right now - all around us. How does what we do on a daily basis, in every minute, define our lives? I am not sure - but I know that the incidental things we do ARE life. Happening at every minuscule moment - every second, every teenie, tiny instance. The down time we all have - the time of doing nothing is an equal part of our lives just as the busy moments.

I need to remind myself this. Life is this very moment, this second attached to so many others woven together to build what we have generated. Life is at this moment. and the next.

120 minutes starting now

2011-06-28T12:42:00.000-04:00

Right now is the first moment I have been away from G since late May.* A month of constant contact. While it has been really great - this mama needs to do something for herself. Something not shopping related. I think I might read a little, take an uninterrupted shower and putz around in the studio until they get home. Or read more. I have probably 2 hours. 2 HOURS! to myself. I am sure I will feel guilty, bored or simply missing my family by the end of it...unless I find something great going on in the studio.

*Unless you count one solo trip to Target and one solo trip to the grocery store. But I'm not.

unwinding and winding up

2011-06-22T07:26:00.000-04:00

So....we are back from our trip to Canada, the 5 days in between when I participated in Art in the Open and our 7 day (or was it 8 day?) trip to England. Whew. Time to unpack, do laundry, get G on a sleeping schedule that doesn't involve waking up @ 5:30 am and get life back on track (minus the craziness) (+ having a great summer and seeing family and friends).

I will be taking a computer break for a while to spend more time staring into G's face and playing with her.

All of that being said, some pictures will be coming soon. And hopefully some art. Oh, and did I tell you a rower is staying with us for the rest of the summer? She will be on Ed duty. sweeet.

I have a screaming toddler saying "want to go back-a-yard mommy" so - we are going to go to the back-a-yard for a while - even if it is only 7:25 in the morning and it feels like 2 pm.

Guilt by the river

2011-06-11T10:34:00.000-04:00

The complexities of being a mom. As I was leaving for the 3rd day of art in the open I gave my daughter a kiss and said," mommy is going to make art and I will be back soon." she replied, "don't go mommy, cuddle with me."

This is one of those moments that breaks my heart in two. I want to do what the artist inside needs, to complete my work, to fulfill the promise I made to myself (and others), to spend time on something just for me.

The other part of me, the mommy, feels terrible for spending time away from my family. Today is a rare day when my husband and daughter are home and we could have had a great family day together. Instead, I am full of guilt by the river.

2011-06-10T10:42:00.000-04:00

Some random things I am thinking about:
I can't get the phrase, "desire is the cause of all suffering" out of my head.
I applied for a residency I really hope I get.
My studio practice involves a lot more technology than I thought.
Fluttering ribbons in the wind reflecting water and sunlight are pretty much one of the most beautiful things I have seen. Or maybe it is just my artistic aesthetic showing.

Each day as I sit here I plan on doing a "something".
Yesterday I attempted to teach myself to write with my left hand.
Today I will be working with vintage cotton sheets and doing "something".
Saturday and Sunday will be figured out later.

Blogging on an iPad is more difficult than I thought. I hope to see you out by the river!

a movie script? songs - 99 keyword

2011-06-09T09:17:00.000-04:00

So...I met the mayor yesterday - well, not really - but he came to the art in the Open 2011 Opening Reception to declare the month of June Art in the Open month in Philadelphia - pretty cool. I have pictures to prove I hope to post later today.

I will hopefully be blogging a bit from my AiO location. I will be in the 99 degree weather from 10-2 working on the "if wishes were fishes" or my favorite nickname for the piece "I got 99 problems". I decided to prepare 99 ribbon/tag/stake things for the project so I will collect 99 wishes.

Like 99 red balloons.

Like 99 problems by Jay Z.

Okay apparently this song exists, 99 ways to die by Megadeath:

And then there is 99 by Toto:

yikes, Toto, yikes. Or then we have the pop stylings of 99 times by Kate Voegle:

And finally 99 miles from LA by Johnny Mathis:

See? Just like a movie - a solid beginning, some drama, some death and destruction, some realization that maybe everything will be o.k., some happiness because everything is resolved and some calming "life is great" tunes to close it out. Or, maybe this crazy heat wave is just getting to me!?

Wish me luck and I hope to see you out there!

hot mind over icy matter/icy mind over hot matter

2011-06-08T09:47:00.000-04:00

Good morning! Lots to do today...including the purchase of a sprinkler - it is just going to be waaay to hot to deal without one the next two days of 97 and 99 degree weather. And I also think it is time to bring up the air conditioners and install them. It seems pretty comfy right now but another 20 degrees will be unbearable me thinks.

Maybe just think of this while you are sweating today:

ICEHOTEL is situated in the village Jukkasjärvi, Sweden, 12 km from Kiruna Airport. Staying at ICEHOTEL is an experience utterly unlike other hotel stays.

Have a drink at the icy bar in the largest hotel made of snow and ice.

Stroll the Harry Potter like icy halls and

marvel at the icy chapel

and sleep in the ice beds.

Do you feel cooler? Mind over matter. mind over matter. mind over matter, right?

a post not about Art in the Open

2011-06-07T11:16:00.000-04:00

Are you sick of reading my posts about Art in the Open? Well, here are some other things to look at:

This is canvas with fabric collage. I am in love with monochromatic pattern combinations. This is also very much a work in progress - you can see the floppy fabric in the top right corner, right? I am loving it so far and intend to keep working on it after the (figurative) dust settles around here.

Oh, and I spend too much time on the computer - evidenced by the image above - I "mad men" made myself. Dooo itt. It is fun - although taking time to think about what you look like vs. what you want to look like is not always the best exercise. Whatevs, it is a cartoon - it shouldn't cause too much strife. right?

Here is a roughed out beginning of what I am planning to do with the vintage quilts. Basically, a quilted floor, with little quilted pup tents on top. I envision a room covered in pattern. vintagey, yellowed, yummy quilted pattern. I have a proposal in the works - well, in my head, for a piece with this. I intend to combine quilts made by me and vintage finds. The more honest and authentic, the better. Meaning, not "fake" distressed fabric, no fake cheater quilt fabric, no reproduction fabric.

Happy Tuesday, two days away from Art in the Open. Weeehooo.

Art in the Open press for the participating Philadelphia Sculptors

2011-06-07T10:40:00.002-04:00

Check out the Philadelphia Sculptors participating in Art in the Open

books and blood

2011-06-06T16:05:00.000-04:00

Turns out - I love to read - even cheesy, draw you in, won't let you put it down, you feel like you know them, it is so gossipy, good book.

I finally finished reading a book, this book:

while away in Niagra Falls last week for a rowing competition my husband was coaching. We stayed on the Canada side and had the most amazing view - see earlier post. I was almost getting vertigo from watching ALL.OF.THAT.WATER. go over the falls so fast. It was pretty cool - I must say. Sipping coffee while looking out the window while little G ran around the room naked and playing in the tub like a swimming pool. Pretty cool to me. AND, we ordered room service. shhhh. so decadant and indulgent AND AMAZING!

We have some cool other trips coming up - but not before I participate in Art in the Open this Thursday through Sunday! I have yet to tie my red ribbons together and write the phrase "I wish..." on each of the 125 prepared cards to facilitate participation. Shouldn't be a problem to finish up tonight after everyone is asleep and I am catching up on some laundry.

A few thoughts:

Our house always feels so empty when we come home. And weird, and frozen in time somehow.
I slept like a dead person last night - I missed our bed.
I can't wait to read some more.
I am excited about Art in the Open and a bit worried about the anticipated 94 degree temperature for Thursday. But - whatever - sweating for art making? That is the kind of workout I can handle. fo reals.
I didn't miss facebook while I was away. I did miss blogging though. I had time to write and I couldn't do it well since I didn't bring my computer.
I didn't really miss reading the zillion blogs I read everyday. Hmmm- need to reaccess that time spent on doing something else perhaps.
A bunch of the vintage yummy goodness quilt squares I ordered from etsy are here. wooohoooo. Plans to make some work after we get back from our next adventures later on in June.

I read a post today about an artist...aww - never mind - just check this out:

I am dually intrigued and repulsed by this.

where Jim and Pam got married

2011-06-02T11:08:00.000-04:00

this is why we are busy - the fuzzy view from our hotel room taken through the window with photobooth. It is a quiz, do you know where we are?

the other pieces to the puzzle.

2011-05-31T16:48:00.000-04:00

Seems like I have been cleared to use the two trees below for Art in the Open. These trees work for the "if wishes were fishes" project because they are small groupings of trees - not just one standing alone. Conceptually I dig that.

The tree above is great because it is near the road and the "Welcome to the Lower Schuylkill Banks" sign (I think that is what it says) so I think I will get a lot of passersby to participate. *fingers crossed*

I like this grouping of trees because it is so close to the river and because all of the branches are low enough to easily tie to. It seems as if this tree really could be in a more natural area - like not in the middle of the city. Whereas, the tree above is unmistakeably in the city - surrounded by cars and noise. I really enjoy the two aesthetics of the trees and the different feel each location has. To be honest - I can't really give you any other reason why I selected these trees - they just felt right. When I saw them I thought to myself, "yup - this one is perfect." As soon as I feel like the use of these are absolutely official I will post the map for the exhibition so you know where and when to find me on the exhibition days!

And if you have no idea what I am talking about - scroll down and see my post from yesterday. And if it still seems confusing - go here or here.

Hope you are all well! G is officially out of school so things we be super hectic over the next few weeks. I plan to post whenever possible. Have a great day (and week)!

ouch

2011-05-30T16:05:00.000-04:00

The next few weeks promise to be crazy. Hopefully crazy good. Oh, and my carpal tunnel is not behaving. Not much writing/computer usage for me today.

The reason my carpal tunnel is acting up is because I am in the process of making 125 of the do-hicky-thingees pictured above for Art in the Open in a couple of weeks.

Imagine 125 of these installed on a tree. Weeeeee! I am excited - if not a little achy. Oh - and I just found these...soo cool.

They are called cloutie well trees - fabric is tied to a branch near a well - and as the fabric disintegrates, so does your worry. More on this later. fer sure.

Hope you are all memorializing well.

meaningful, meaningless, whatever

2011-05-27T09:28:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking about this idea for a while - these are prototypes - the work is about labor and the value of hand stitching. There are a bunch of other combinations of text and fabric I want to try.

Happy Memorial weekend!

052601

2011-05-26T12:41:00.000-04:00

One of THE best days in my life (besides the day G was born 8/8/08).

05.26.01 -The day I married my husbandy. 10 freakin' years ago today. whaaat?

We officially met on March 25, 1994. We went to a Chi Phi party together on the College Avenue campus of Rutgers University. It is funny because we were hanging out because our friends were interested in each other. Um, that didn't work out for a number of complicated reasons.

*I did a quick search to see if I have told this story before on this blog...seems I haven't. Well, I guess it is about time. *

The first word my husband ever said to me was "woman". As in, trying to get my attention - he was trying to hand me the security sign-in book. We were both security guards at Stonier Hall (where we both lived). Me on the first floor him on the 5th. And yes, I am not a great security guard and really, a machine could have done a better job than me. Which brings me to the 2nd encounter I had with him. He was working (i.e. doing security by wearing an orange vest and hanging out near the stairwell/entry to the building). I asked if he wanted some of the cookies my mom sent me. He said, "Sure - but what's wrong with them?" I said something like, "Uh, nothing and if there was - why would I give them to you?" He devoured them and I walked away confused.

I remember visiting a friends room and she showed me this giant black plastic cup that had a fraternity crest on it. She said a guy from the 5th floor gave it to her and invited her to come to the party that night. Not sure if this was before or after our "woman" and "cookie" conversations. I don't even remember if we went. Because back then, college boys would try to do anything to get with a girl. (well, that hasn't changed)

The night we officially "met" not counting the two strange encounters above - he was working security and hanging out with his friend M and I was hanging out with L. L really wanted to go to the party with M. So we went. Now, keep in mind I was an art student and it was the 90s. I had on super baggy pants and a brown plaid boys skater shirt. Super baggy also. Not who the husbandy was thinking he would spend the night dancing with. Well, we danced a lot. One of the great things about my husbandy is that he loves to dance - he smiles the biggest smile you have ever seen when he is dancing. And ya know what...shhhh, don't tell him I said this - he gets mad - but he has absolutely no rhythm. It doesn't matter - he attacks the dance floor like nobody's business. So we danced for a long time. I am pretty sure Jump Around came on

and I know Brown Eyed Girl was played.

Other than that, all I really remember is that he smelled terrible. Granted, we had been dancing a long time. And I remember thinking, I could really like this guy - but only if he doesn't smell so terrible the next time I see him. And he didn't. And we proceeded to spend every single spare minute together - ya know when relationships first begin and it is like a drug to spend time with that person. Like, you just can't get enough, must see him every.waking. moment. And as the cliche goes - the rest is history.

The story I just told took place 17 years ago. so, so, so very crazy. Time is so slippery. What I know is I feel like I am in love with him even more now. He is such a talented, passionate, caring, intense, calm, balanced and generally happy go lucky person. Our daughter has a lot of his wonderful traits - which I am so proud of (and happy about).

Oh, and I almost forgot one of the best parts of the story - every month - for a year - husbandy hid a rose on the 25th (the day we met) and he would hide it somewhere. In the car trunk, in my room, next to my plate after he made dinner. For an entire year! And every month I was surprised - every month he remembered and every month he wrote a sweet note to go with the rose. I have all of the notes and all of the letters he wrote me when we had to spend summers apart. I want to give them to G someday. So she can see that true love can happen and sometimes it even turns out just like it does in the movies.

Revolutionary I say, revolutionary!

2011-05-25T13:54:00.000-04:00

I have been feeling like I am slacking in the studio...just to prove I haven't been here is a look at one wall in my studio. The view is from the top of the stairs. I plan on posting more detailed info soon! Oooh and images of my Art in the Open tester pieces. I think I will call the piece, If Wishes Were Fishes - I think. Still working on that.

I haven't been great about taking and posting photos lately. I know that photos really give a glimpse into my life...even more than my silly thoughts. I know I LOVE photos when I see them on other peoples' blogs. So - here is the tiny little "gallery" I set up for G today in the living room. I think it is going to get her to want to draw more - the tiny chair has a box of her markers, crayons and pencils in it. I also put a few sheets of stickers on it.

Isn't it funny how little ones can be led in play by us? Yesterday all I did was mention the word "blocks" and we had a city, a train track around it and a whole zoo set up in no time. Yay for play!

Two posts in one day...whaaat? I know! That is what happens when I actually take photos and upload them to my computer. Revolutionary I say, revolutionary!

random thoughts

2011-05-25T11:45:00.000-04:00

Don't people say "salud" or "bless you" or even "gesundheit" when people sneeze anymore?
Sometime it feels really good to sweat.
My work was accepted into a juried exhibition, More is More at the Lexington Art League. I am sure it will be a fantabulous show since a lot of the artists are amazing and the curator rocks. Not biased, really. well, maybe a little. More on this coming soon!
I always feel itchy after I work in the backyard - mind over matter? matter over mind? ug. itchy.
found 4 outdoor patio cushions in the pile for garbage pickup today as I was driving G to school. Did I stop and get them? Yup. I turned the car around, hopped out and scooped them up. There is a tiny old wasp nest on one and they are faded but ya know what? They were FREEEEE and outdoor cushions are pricey.
I want to start a business where I would drive around on garbage days in good neighborhoods and pick up the good stuff and drop it off at Goodwill. Or sell it - or give to people in need. It really is ridiculous peoples. I out stuff out on the curb and if it doesn't disappear I will haul it into the car and drop it off...And sometimes I scoop up stuff that my neighbors leave out and donate. Shhh. don't tell.
I really want to clean out the basement.
Today is a studio day - so I need to get crackin.
I am going to attempt to have an art project ready for G for when she gets home from school today.
We have TWO international trips planned soon. Yay!
Art in the Open is sooooon. June 9-12 - lower Schuylkill banks - be there or be square peoples.
We don't have any plastic bags in the house to scoop poop. Although this is a silly dilemma it makes me feel great that our consumption of plastic bags is 0! Yes! Yay for reusable bags!
And yes, today is a studio day. peas out.

P.s. - It is SUNNY out today. weeeeehooooo. O.k. - now to lock myself in my treehouse studio and make magic happen. um, no pressure. oh yeah - after I put away the laundry first. Enjoy the sunshine today!

rigid, ruffly, simple, sophisticated, humble and stunning

2011-05-24T19:04:00.000-04:00

piece by Belinda Smith from the Good Work exhibition at the Textile Arts Center

It is a great piece, isn't it? They are folded/crimped dishtowels donated to the artist for the exhibition. I love the idea that the materials are humble and the final piece is rather stunning me thinks. I also really love the simple (yet sophisticated) process used to install the work. I am assuming staples + folding + wall = this piece. Niiiiice. rigid and ruffly all at once. Yes!

wide open spaces

2011-05-23T17:23:00.000-04:00

This time of year I yearn for open spaces and quiet time. Relaxing in a chair reading and watching G run around and play is what I really want to be doing. It sounds like a lot of people would feel this way--often. But it is always weird for me. I don't normally enjoy quiet (in the woods kind of quiet). I enjoy domestic quiet - when everyone is asleep and no one is creeping except a mouse. I also don't normally enjoy the country side - now, I am not a crazy person, really - I just love the city. But this time every year, when school is over and I am waiting for husbandy's school to finish up...I ALWAYS want to run away for a vacation (as a family of course).

Maybe it is precisely that we CAN'T leave is the reason I want to so badly. Maybe the slowing down of life (since school is over) makes me yearn for this. It is like grasping for a breath of fresh air in a world of pollution. It is like stretching the body after it has been frozen in place for too long. It is also really motivated by my love of relaxation and doing ABSOLUTELY nothing but living - having nothing on the calendar and not much planned except to feed ourselves.

This time of year my experiential cooking always amps up and I run to the library (or bookstore) to stock up on all of the books I don't have a chance to read during the school year. I do read a little during the school year but usually in fits and starts - moments of intense hours of reading followed by a lot of non-reading time.

Maybe it is just this time of year, things are blooming, it is getting warm outside and my body decides it needs out of the city. Do you feel the same way this time of year? Why do you think that is?

Happy (rainy) Monday. I wish you wide open spaces.

See? This time of year even makes me want to listen to country music - which NEVER happens. Really.

"Wide Open Spaces" lyrics - song by the Dixie Chicks

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about
Who's never left home, who's never struck out
To find a dream and a life of their own
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone

Many precede and many will follow
A young girl's dream no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out west
But what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed
[Chorus:]
She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes

She traveled this road as a child
Wide eyed and grinning, she never tired
But now she won't be coming back with the rest
If these are life's lessons, she'll take this test
[Repeat Chorus]
She knows the high stakes

As her folks drive away, her dad yells, "Check the oil!"
Mom stares out the window and says, "I'm leaving my girl"
She said, "It didn't seem like that long ago"
When she stood there and let her own folks know
[Repeat Chorus]
She knows the highest stakes
She knows the highest stakes
She knows the highest stakes
She knows the highest stakes

a mere 10 minutes

2011-05-20T18:11:00.000-04:00

Today was graduation. Congrats grads! I am a mix of emotions today....breathe - it is OFFICIALLY SUMMER TIME OVA HERE! Weeeehooooo. Although I will be working on school stuff and will be on campus on Monday. But it still is OFFICIALLY SUMMER TIME.

Now, rain - go away - if just for a few days, please! I feel like I live in the Pacific Northwest minus some of the advantages. I normally embrace whatever the weather has in store for us because frankly, life is great no matter if it is sunny, raining, snowing - whatever! Buuuut, I did catch myself thinking as I was driving, "ug, I am so sick of this rain." I was thinking that because I am.

I think I made a break through yesterday in the studio involving quilts and some quilt pieces on wood panels. Sometimes I make the best strides in the studio when I go up there without a lot of pressure or without a certain level of expectation for myself. I usually think, "O.k., you have an hour - let's make something happen." But somehow in the 10 minutes I had yesterday I figured a couple of things out. Now I am on a search for pieces of vintage quilts. I can't bear the possibility of cutting some of mine up. Although I will if I HAVE to. Now, to go load up my paypal account and get to shopping on etsy!

Happy Friday!

to be 16 again

2011-05-19T12:00:00.000-04:00

I saw this post today. Letter to a 16 year old me from the Little Miss Momma blog. I posed the question to my facebook friends. There were some funny responses and some poignant ones. Most of all, it made me think about what I was like when I was 16.

I don't have many regrets so when looking back - I don't quite have many things I would change about myself. I would offer advice to myself and really, I can't help but think of baby G being a teenager someday. Here begins a rough draft of a letter to my daughter as a teenager (but really it is me talking to myself).

Love your body, your hair, your face - love the way you look. You may never look better.
Love your quirky thoughts, embrace your terrible gut-wrenching, love-struck, heart-breaking "the world is going to end because so and so doesn't like me" poetry.
Try to stay passionate and ambitious about the things you love - even if it makes you dorky or uncool. Because sometimes the uncool IS the cool.
Become friends easily and wear your heart on your sleeve, even if it might be painful.
Be honest - at all times - as long as it doesn't hurt someones feelings.
Don't be disruptive and cause problems to hide your own insecurities. i.e Algebra class sorry Ms. Corner.
Be alert and engaged in English class - you will be a better writer for it.
Befriend people that are different and seen as being "outsiders".
Love music because YOU love it - not because others do. It will help you decide who you are.
Ask your parents to come to see you participate in stuff at school - i.e. playing sports, at art receptions, in the school play. Let your dad pick you up from parties and allow him to be seen - don't make him pull up down the block because it isn't cool. Be proud of where you come from. It makes for better memories later.
Don't let people make you think you are a boring person. There really is no such thing.
Don't do your friends chores for them. Even if they may like you more.
You are not a sucker.
Dream big - allow yourself to take a risk on a wish. Because you WILL get into your dream school and students do make it from wait list status to being accepted into school. But, try to excel in the classroom so you are not put in a difficult situation about college (if that is what you want to do).
Don't always question authority. Sometimes your elders believe in you more than you believe in yourself.
Travel. Travel as much as possible and be brave (but safe).
Don't feel stupid for asking questions or answering too many in class.
Don't allow your gender decide things for you - like science if you want to - even if you are a girl. Be aggressive and participatory in gym class of you want - even if people will call you names. Don't like Home Economics unless you want to. Just consider it another set of skills - just like changing the tire on a car.

I realize when I got to the bottom of this brainstorming list there are a lot of "don'ts" instead of "dos" so I will retire this for now to be revised at a later date. It feels like a good start. So I ask you reader, what would you tell your 16 year old self?

awesome asbestos headache

2011-05-18T17:50:00.000-04:00

via wenwowwe's shop

I saw the version below on Little Miss Momma's blog - which is awesome (the blog and the poster).

Somehow - it was what I needed to see today. Besides the fact that awesome is one of my favorite - and most used - words. There seems to be a groups of people on the interwebs making DFTBA stuff and I liiiiike it! And apparently there is a record label with the same name. Hmmm. Who knew?

I had an interesting day that popped my bubble of happiness - if only for a few mere minutes. It involved getting yelled at (and than apologized to) by people involved with a music school in the Willow Grove area for parking in thier lot at 9 am on a Wednesday morning to look up directions. Whaaat? Without going into the whole scenario - I left the lot saying "I am sorry your life is so miserable that you have to be so mean to others." so there. kinda. not really. whatever. The Jersey didn't come out - no swearing or finger flippin - so I felt all high and mighty.

The brakes on my car just got fixed a few weeks ago and they are smoking A LOT and rubbing on the rotor or something. I have a serious headache (as I am sure so does G) from breathing in burned brake pads. Not good. Not good for mi cabeza or mi coche. Oh well.

I honestly live in a bubble of relative happiness and privilege. I forget that sometimes. And really, I feel guilty for even being bothered by such trivial things. So - off to have dinner to try and rid my head of this awesome asbestos headache.

current inspiration:

2011-05-17T16:36:00.000-04:00

Tanya Aquiñiga - I especially love her fiber furniture, which I can't seem to get too many good pics of online. Visit her website, trust me - you will be inspired.

Here is a photo from this months issue of American Craft magazine.

An image from one of her exhibitons - including an string installation and furniture/animal/rock thingees.

An image of some of her jewelry and felted folding chairs.

An image of her (I think) and some of her fiber rock-like furniture. Love them.

Happy rainy Tuesday.

starting now

2011-05-16T15:57:00.000-04:00

shhhh, you hear that? silence - except for the deep snorts of the dog and the sound of my fingers on the keyboard. silence. G is finally asleep after lots of wiggling and me saying "stop wiggling, time for a nap now please." I forgot how much I really like silence sometimes. Now begins the "what do I do in the 20 - 40 minutes I have while she is sleeping?" Do I try to pop up into the studio? finish putting the laundry away? watch an indulgent tv show or read? or do some surfing on the web? For now, writing this blog post will do for today. I usually try to choose something I can't do well while she is awake. Which is sometimes taking a shower or doing laundry. Or sometimes just something for myself - all for me.

Have you ever seen Elsie Marley's website? Last week was a challenge to sew one thing everyday - a piece of clothing for your child. While I love the idea, enjoy looking through the flickr pool that is set up and revel in the amazing talent of people out there in the interwebs land...I can't imagine how people do it. By staying up late at night? setting up the sewing station in the dining room? I don't know - but what I do know is that it amazes me.

Somehow I have also been in the mood to re-watch Handmade Nation but the DVD is @ school. Hopefully I will remember to get it tomorrow when I am there for a meeting. Every once in a while I like to re-watch some shows from the PBS ART21 series - especially when I feel like I need to be inspired.

Right now I am beginning to read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott and if I have time after this post, I will read some more of it.

I am much better at getting things done when I have more to do. When school slows down I find myself lolly gagging around. Which - in and of itself - feels great - if not a little unproductive and I feel a little guilty for it. I always feel like I need to create more...but somehow I don't. I always feel like I need to do more with G - but I don't. I always feel like I need to eat less - but I don't do that either. What I do want to do today? Watch a movie and sit on the couch - which I might just do.

starting now.

sticking to it

2011-05-15T23:51:00.000-04:00

I have had a blog post written in my head for days. Since then I have gotten side tracked and:

got sad news about two friends of mine. They will be o.k. but it sucks when something bad happens to someone you care about - well, to say the least. They are two different friends in different parts of the US with two very different problems. What is the same? The situations suck.
I think I have gotten addicted to shopping online. I bought candles, shoes for me and g, a purse and all my materials for Art in the Open.
went to a spring fling at a nearby school that made me question everything about how we are raising our child. I have never really felt more unwelcome and like an outsider before. I know it is my baggage - but weird nonetheless.
went to the art star craft bazaar and despite the crappy weather it was a great day - we went to our favorite restaurant in West Philly and G got to eat soup out of her special spoon.
worked in the studio a bit gluing fabric to canvases again. Feels good, going to keep working with pattern on pattern kinda like this:

ok - not really like Sandy Skoglund's work. More like this:

Ok - not really like Yayoi Kusama's work. Maybe like this?

Ok - not like Yinka Shinobare's work either. Hmmmm, maybe this?

Yes, maybe like a 1980s grunge style plaid shirt, kinda. How about this?

Maybe like America Ferrara as Ugly Betty? Yes - now we are getting some where!

I found this here - whew. I love it. Not quite what I am after but the clashing vibrations of color and pattern are right up my alley. mmmmhmmmm.

From the Telegraph - and this works for me...somehow I have gotten off track. Let's get back on the road towards our unknown destination, shall we?


Inspired by Gee's Bend quilts. yummmm find it here - this is more like it! And this is a good place to end...for now. Hope you are well - I am having some adjustment issues since school has slowed down. Am I a broken record? Maybe. Sometimes the same songs get better after you hear them over and over. right? right. That is my story and I am sticking to it.

stretched out and mellow

2011-05-12T11:01:00.000-04:00

O.k. summer is almost officially here (graduation isn't until next week). All grades are in and today is....wait for it.....A STUDIO DAY! Now, I know it is fantastic outside right now and I do feel guilty about it. But frankly, I will feel more guilty if I don't go up to the studio.

Yesterday, while trying to find and rescue another quilt (which I didn't end up finding) I found some wonderful awesome amazing vintage fabrics. Village Thrift, I love you. Most of them were stored in plastic bags with tags like "Large scraps 1.75" or "scraps .25" Whaaaaaaat? Yes! All mine - except these fabrics were more stinky than usual so I washed them - thinking some added washed softness would be nice. Do I have any idea what I am going to do with them today? Nope - but it sure feels good getting the opportunity to try and figure it out. I think some random stitching together is in order first - although I do love gluing fabric down to canvases - but I think I have enough of them - probably about 20. oops. Moving on to something else hopefully - even if gluing tiny scraps of fabric to canvas is totally fun and I feel a great sense of accomplishment. It feels a little too much like spinning my wheels. Let's see if I can rev the engine today and actually get somewhere. More on that later!

I am in the process of baking ready to go fridge chocolate cookies for G's bake sale today @ school. Thought I would never do that - but ya know what? I feel like sacrifices have to get made to get my but up in that studio.

On a side note - I was feeling thin today so I just took a picture of myself with photobooth to see what I am looking like these days. Two words. Slim down. I NEED to. Please see previous paragraph about cookies. I will not eat one, I will not eat one, I will not eat one. I wanna - I really really wanna.

On another note, I have plans to hopefully go do yoga tonight - for the first time in -hmmmm - I don't even know. Since I got ringworm from the mat with baby and me yoga. ewwww. yucky. gross - I know. Going to a different place today. What is so weird about yoga is that I used to do it quite often and was getting stronger. Since giving birth and going back I know my arms are stronger - from holding the 35 pound G) but I am not sure anything else is. I do know that things feel different now in certain poses because I haven't dropped these stoooopid 10 pounds since giving birth nearly 3 years ago. But - whatever - I am going to try my best and hopefully feel all stretched out and mellow when the class is over.

rescuing my love of reality

2011-05-11T11:56:00.000-04:00

cheater quilt fabric - I hate it. Like below - couldn't find another one without a stamp thingy across it. You know what I mean - pastel circa 1970s pattern next to pattern stuff.

They are fake domestic, fake labor, fake-ness. I can understand why people like them - they have the look - BUT they are missing a huge part of why I love quilts...the labor and genuine intentions.

I came across this blog post linky when I was updating my etsy shop. I didn't realize there was are whole groups of people who know and love cheater quilts. They are too 1970s vintage to me..where as real quilts are timeless - honestly - unless the fabric is amy butler or something super new - they can seem like they were made decades apart. flowers - they are the great timeless equalizer. Pastel duckies? Not timeless.

Cheater quilts also miss the fact that texture of a real quilt - the bumpy lumpyness and the thinning almost threadbare parts that are so wonderful with a worn, used, loved, hand made quilt.

Pattern next to pattern on paper? Yup - I will take it.
Pattern next to pattern on fabric? Not unless it is quilted pieces.

Ug like this:

or this:

yuck. or this:

I will gladly take this:

or this:

and definitely this:

which looks like this:

Depth, dimension, real (not illusion). Real quilts are so badass. I can't even explain my love of them to you. In fact, I am about to go to my favorite store to see if I can rescue more quilts. Wish me luck.

wheeeew haaaaah

2011-05-09T13:43:00.000-04:00

I feel like I have a bit of my life back - I got a chance to hang art work, mow the lawn and rearrange and clean out some stuff. What I know is - I need to eat healthier - this weekends celebratory get togethers have me bloated and headachy.

I am dreaming - dreaming - dreaming of some studio time. I have a show in less than a month I need to wrap my head around. I think I will bring G's easel up to the studio so she can paint while I am up there. Not sure if she will - but it is worth a try. Let the great toy rotation begin. She gets used to the toys around and takes them for granted - as soon as I put them away for a bit and then reintroduce them...instant love again. Long lost toy love. We can learn something from that, can't we?

Regardless - going to do some more rearranging...I took a bunch of books out of the bookshelf and added in some sculpture and my husbandys many rowing medals. Not sure if he noticed - but I am quite sure he will be happy when he does. There really is something important to surrounding yourself by art and objects that bring you joy.

I also have so much more grading left to do...but I CAN'T STOP WATCHING WEEDS. I am going to have to use it like a reward for myself...after my grades are done - then I can watch it non stop. I can stay up late in the studio and watch it and make work. Sounds heavenly, doesn't it? It is the perfect temperature up there right now - not too hot yet.

I have plans to hang a hammock and some twinkle lights in the backyard which will create another place to relax and recharge. I feel less crazy and more like myself already. Let summer begin...(well, after I finish grades and after the rest of my wee family is out of school.)

Can you feel it? whhhheeeeew - a big sigh. haaaaaaaaah. yes, much better.

gathering, cooking, learning and clenching

2011-05-07T10:05:00.000-04:00

Today is Saturday and I don't "owe" a post to the blog - but, I have time and a few thoughts rambling around. G is playing with blocks, building towers and going "reeeerpuuckkkwooow" as she makes them fall down. It really doesn't sound like that - I just can't think of a way to spell it...you know what I mean though, right?

This week we got our first delivery of Suburban Organics fruit and veggies and I feel like we are eating healthier already. G and I have cooked some sort of dinner like food three times this week and each time she took bites of everything - munched on raw chard, wanted a sip of lemon juice, ate raw button mushrooms, ate lot of bits of yellow squash, ate black and greek olives and a lot of other things she has never had before. She has this urge to try new foods and frankly, I couldn't be happier. Someone told me last night that it will all change by age 6. Maybe it won't and really, it is so good right now so I am not going to think of what may be to come. There are many other things to worry about in this world.

Cooking together and sitting down at the table together has created more curiosity in G of what we are eating and how we make it. I am so glad my urge and drive to learn how to cook is paying off. I actually made a few things that weren't terrible.

For our Mothers Day celebration today I made mini crustless spinach quiches.
And I made zucchini patties last week - which would be great as a sandwich. Imagine a lighter potato pancake. I also made my new favorite salad which G downed by the plateful but was hungry a few hours later and this Ramen salad and the awesome Cucumber salad too. For a get together tomorrow I also made black bean hummus - which turned out much better than last time I made it because I found the tahini in the closet. Hummus without tahini is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the bread.

I am so glad I have a few staple things to make - now to build my cooking skills into more of an encyclopedia rather than the pamphlet that it is. It will take time - but hey, I have all summer and yummy veggies. No problemo.

Off to go do fun things and stop clenching my jaw - which I find myself doing a lot these days. Not a good sign...now that makes sense as to why I have been having headaches.

blowin in the wind

2011-05-06T16:50:00.000-04:00

Spread sheets, word documents and calculators. It is grading time people! Which means after this frenzy....it is studio time!

About to make a bunting/banner thingee...just pinking shears, fabric and thread. Shouldn't take long at all and I am sure it will bring a smile to my face every time I go out in the backyard.

I have a grumpy toddler sitting beside me right now. hmmm. Off to take care of her - not much time to post today - Happy Friday nonetheless.

via

speed and weeds

2011-05-05T23:18:00.000-04:00

I have exactly 50 minutes to get this post together to have it considered for today, Thursday! I will share with you some rambling words I typed up really fast on my desktop stickie app on my computer while I was waiting to pick up G from school and my computer was about to die. Somehow the phrase "humble hands" was stuck in my head as I was driving around yesterday. I was trying to think about what I love about quilts so much. I was also trying to think about what attracts me to quilting, fabric and the stitch.

Here goes:
humble hands - humble stitches - the stitch as signature - patience, impatience - time spent making
genuine intentions
labor, passion believing in yourself or in the use of this object
hard work
sacrifice
the accidental and sloppy
the planned and meticulous
the weight of the humans attached to the object - it isn't a new factory produced object
it holds the weight of the maker with it
the hope when making - the labor in making discarded and unappreciated
always love an underdog always love the under appreciated things - let me show you why this important.
the random patterns that end up next to each other through circumstance
the tufting of the folded over pieces of fabric
the white space in between
the geometric patterns in an organic way - the tight and the loose
mostly the spirit of the fingers that created this
the spirit of the woman behind this fiber
the hope and belief, time spent, money spent - the dedication
the good intentions
the work ethics we should all have
the duration
the consistency and inconsistency mistakes
it is like holding memories in your arms - holding good intentions around you and sleeping with positive thoughts

This is a list I came with a while back. I was thinking about key ideas in my art making process lately:
quick
not looking back
chance
letting go of control
not big, easy to transport, something out of nothing
floating, moving, changing
getting out of my own way
ambiguity
body like organic forms, blobs
wonky imperfect is perfect
don't like text...too direct, too literal
the perseverance or the abandonment of the work by death

Not sure where this will all lead but stream of consciousness stuff is fun - especially easier on the computer since my pace of typing can keep up better with my thoughts - not like the slow process of writing long hand with a pencil. I didn't edit the words above at all - they are verbatim as typed. Oh, I did add a comma in between labor and passion in the 3rd line down from the top. That is all. That's it. Get with the quickness. whew. 42 minutes left. Time to get back to watching Weeds on Netflix. Night night.

turkeys for everyone

2011-05-04T11:30:00.000-04:00

Today is one of my last days of the semester - final critique for one of my foundations classes. I am not sure what I am walking into today. Sometimes students want to wow my socks off and projects change entirely in a few days and sometimes students are tired and don't care. Either way, I love crit day. It is a dreary day outside - at least we will have lots to look at that isn't dreary to keep our minds off of the May showers.

To be honest with you, I am tired - I stayed up waaaay to late (2 am to be exact) to watch Weeds. I just keep thinking - it can't possibly be going where I think it is going - lots of "oh, no they didn't" feelings it seems at every turn. I can't believe I am only on season 2 (and there are 5 seasons on netflix).

It is noon now (about 4 hours since I began writing this post). The critique was a success and once again reaffirmed my feelings about my job. I love it. I feel lucky because I think this is what I was meant to do with my life. The students really showed some thoughtful work. SOME. Of course there were a few weaker pieces...but overall - I have a sense of relief and joy with another semester down!

I feel like everyday could be Thanksgiving. Even the days when it doesn't feel that way. It feels that way.

2011-05-03T15:11:00.000-04:00

I think I now understand why I hate gardening. Patience. I don't have patience to wait years for something to come to full growth size...to fill in, be perfect and just as it should be. On the other hand, I love the spring...I forgot I planted hosta plants last year. They started to come up and I was so surprised. So very happily surprised. Instead of replanting the same area that I do every year - I just had to fill in. Of course I realized the other day that I have had a number of plants in the same area that my giant German Shepherd, Sarasota, used to love to sit on. I can't imagine that they were a very comfy bed. There was at any given time: azaleas, yellow roses, red roses, hydrangea, bleeding hearts and I can't remember what else. Keep in mind - this is about a 4'x3' plot of land...I do miss Sarasota so much. I guess this year the Hostas won't get smushed to death.

A lot of my seedlings died. I think I over watered them. Bye bye dill, basil, watermelon, tomato and mint. Maybe I will get some starter plants. In all honesty, it was the most fun just to plant them with G. I don't want tomato plants again - especially after the weird horn bugs moved in. ick.

Buuuut, my mesclun cutting mix is getting ready to be amazing...fresh spring greens anyone? Yes! I also planted some spinach and g helped me put squash seeds "night night" - i.e. plant them and cover with soil.

We also tried to make nice with a worm but G shivered in fear saying over and over "scary". Note to self: talk to school about teaching children to be afraid of bugs. I have specifically tried to put aside my own fears so G isn't afraid of bugs. Now someone has gone and undone my fearless bug training. shoot. But, if a bee comes by - I am running for the hills. Sorry G - mama can't fake like that one!

I am so happy to have a little green space outside. I also think my gardening is done for the year...I've had enough. On another note, G learned to climb the crazy ladder and go down the slide all by herself yesterday. I see many relaxing afternoons hanging in the back yard with G running around with squeals of laughter and glee in the air. Yes. Welcome Spring. I didn't know I loved you. But I do. mwwwwaaaah. (kisses)

piece of peace

2011-05-02T13:54:00.000-04:00

It feels weird celebrating the fact that someone has died. I am afraid there will be retribution, I am afraid that someone will take his place, I am afraid his death will cause more death.

But, I am glad that Osama bin Laden's death has given peace to many people. I truly am.

sniff.

2011-04-29T14:11:00.000-04:00

Tonight is the thesis exhibition opening. Three of my students have completed amazing installations.

For Tina:
"All that stands in between the artist and the top of the ladder is the ladder." author unknown

For Abby:
"Don't live down to expectations. Go out and do something remarkable." Wendy Wasserstein

For Jesse:
"Wherever you go, go with all of your heart." Confucius

I chose each quote for each student in particular - it is something I know they will all do (or they all know). These quotes are their personalities - these are what they do, what their work is about and how they make their way in the world. I am so proud of them I could just cry. But I won't. Really, I won't. sniff. sniff. sniff.

Watch out world - there are three smart women comin' your way.

necklaces and tongues

2011-04-27T11:42:00.000-04:00

altered wedding headpiece from a thrift store with wire and fabric - you can't see the chain - but it is silver...

Oh photo booth - how I love you! I made 3 necklaces last night as potentials for thesis...the one above feels good on. But the one below looks better.

piece of embroidery cut out and mounted on felt...need to figure out a necklace for this one...m suggested loops of embroidery thread...I think I like it. Going to try it tonight.

I do have one more idea using masonite cut into a cloud shape...going to cut it out right now.

Found these images while opening up my photobooth - I think they are from November...notice G has the hat on and then I have the hat on? ahhhh good times with my baby girl.

Happy cloudy Wednesday!

dazy skatin blowin smushed philly hmmm thingee zillionith sippin wonderiffic

2011-04-26T16:21:00.000-04:00

It is like the playoffs around school - no lazy dazy days of skatin around on the ice - it is game time! i.e. it is thesis week for all the art and design students. I love it...the buzz in the air is great. Thing is, it couldn't always be like this - but it is nice when it is. And even when it isn't.

Oh heck - the sun is shining, the wind is blowin and I actually got to sit in the sun today with shoes off and feet buried in the grass - gazing up at the sky watching the clouds float by. It was for 10 minutes but it felt a lot longer. I am so thankful for those few minutes.

Now, if only my neighbors wouldn't smoke out on their porch - today would be perfect. Ya see, because I live in a smushed up row house in philly I hear and smell everything my neighbors are doing. Fried chicken dinner? smell it. Incense and weed? yup, smell that too. Salsa music while you are cleaning? Sure - sounds good to me! It is good until it isn't good. Ya know what I mean?

Seems like my hornet trap out back isn't working - I am totally bummed - was planning on clearing out the aggressive buggers so we could play in the sand table...hmmm - don't know quite sure how to fix that.

I don't feel quite like myself today - not sure if it the "play off" atmosphere or the fact I have another headache and stress neck ache thingee for the zillionith day in a row. I am pretty sure this iced coffee I am sippin on will help take care of it.

Now I am off to figure out something fresh and springy to make for dinner.

Shiny Happy People to you on this wonderiffic Tuesday. It is Tuesday, right?

* the title of this post are all of the words spell check says are incorrect.

501

2011-04-25T10:54:00.000-04:00

This is the 501st post on this blog - noooooway! Yep!

Rain!

I honestly don't mind rain - it makes my tiny green space all the more green.
It also allows for fun inside playing (without feeling guilty for not going outside).
It makes for good puddles to jump in.
It sounds great.
If it isn't raining too much - or sideways - rain makes for great porch sitting.
It makes the sunny days so much better - by contrast. Like today!
It makes me appreciate the fact I have shelter (even if it is a little leaky).

No matter what the weather conditions are - I try not to be too negative about it - it is what it is...I can't change it - I can only frame how I feel about it. Maybe I will feel different after 5 days of rain we are supposed to get this week!? Do you like spring time rains?

bunnies

2011-04-21T14:01:00.000-04:00

Jeff Koons, Rabbit, polished stainless steel, 1986

Jeff Koons, Inflatable Flower and Bunny (Tall White, Pink Bunny), 1979

Happy spring and have a wonderful weekend.

room for everyone

2011-04-20T11:09:00.000-04:00

Did you know that green dye is the most difficult to make? There aren't many plants that make a strong green dye. Often times, indigo and yellow needed to be mixed to make green - but yellow fades quickly.

Once again, I am so thankful to NPR for my daily dose of new-to-me information.

The reason they were talking about the color green on the radio this morning is because of the current exhibition at the Textile Museum in Washington D.C. - Green: the color and the cause

From the website:

Many cultures traditionally associate the color green with nature and its attributes, including life, fertility, and rebirth. In recent years, green has become the symbolic color of environmentalism. This exhibition celebrates green both as a color and a cause, exploring the techniques people have devised to create green textiles, the meanings this color has held in cultures across time and place, and the ways that contemporary artists and designers are responding to concerns about the environment.
Despite its ubiquity in nature, green was among the most elusive of hues in the textile arts until the invention of synthetic dyes in the nineteenth century. Textiles from the Museum’s permanent collection, created across the world over the last 1,700 years, illustrate a range of ingenious solutions for creating green fabrics. These historical textiles are juxtaposed with contemporary artworks, primarily chosen from over 1,000 pieces submitted by almost 300 artists through an international call for entries. The artists represent five continents, create in a variety of genres, and approach the concept of green from diverse points of view. Exploring themes such as sustainability, recycling, and the interconnectedness between humans and the natural world, these artists continue today’s “green” conversation by encouraging new ways of seeing, thinking about, and interacting with the environment and this evocative color.

Hey! I knew it sounded familiar...I applied for this show! I was one of the 300 artists. Hmmmmm - now let's check it out and see why my work didn't get in. Do you ever do that? Check out the shows and try to see why your work wasn't chosen? I always do. I like to solve the question, "is it me?" or "is it you?"....which I don't ever really get the answer to - but it makes me feel better.

Abington Art Center

Hey - Michele Brody's work is in the show...I've shown with her before at Abington Art Center and I think somewhere else... oh she was in last years Art in the Open that I am in this year.

Art in the Open 2010

And - we were in a show in NYC for a College Art Association exhibition in 2001 - I think. Yes! With the piece below.

Cuchifritos Art Exhibition

I don't know any of the other artists in the exhibition. I love that the website is organized by themes: The Color, Nature, Global Choices, Interconnectedness, Repurposing, Sustainability, Adaptation. I also love the fact that contemporary works are shown in context and next to fibers from hundreds of years ago. I really need to go see this show it looks like a good one.

Now, to track down Michele Brody and chat with her - I think we have a lot in common.

one image and a concise idea

2011-04-19T07:58:00.000-04:00

Immediacy - that is what this blog has become. I think a lot about what I want to post - but when it comes down it - lately, I usually have 15 or so minutes to pull something together. It has really become a way to remind myself of art I knew about and haven't looked at in a while. I used to cut pages out of magazines and keep them in a folder and now with google image search - my folder seems irrelevant. But what is different is that doing a google search comes up with the stuff anyone has made anywhere and posted. The images from magazines have the context, approval and support of the art world. To a certain extent, in a focused way by each magazine.

So because my memory is terrible I sometimes end up with the best images at the top of the search that may not have the same results if I switched one or two words around in the search bar. My concern is, that we will all become suckers to the images that come up higher in the relevancy search that google culls from the interwebs. How may of you really look past the first page of the google image search? OK - how about past page 5? Because at some point, everything starts blending together and becoming less relevant and wacko doesn't it? That is when I know my google search needs to be refreshed. But really, did you come here to read my rant about google image searches? no, probably not.

I fear that in the world of too much information that we all become watered down. How can someone remember anything anymore? google search.

While I type this post I am trying to find an image of a life size gingerbread house that was part of an article about food and sculpture in Sculpture Magazine about 6 years ago. I keep finding stuff like this:

Which are cute and all - but not what I am looking for...

And then, weirdly, this thing shows up:

Interesting, but again, not what I am looking for...

And after a refined search, still not finding it - so oh well - I will post something else. And so it goes...the process of almost every post made here on rumbleinthedistance.

The failed image search process usually brings to mind another idea of something to post...like this original "meat dress" I am sure Lady Gaga borrowed from...

Jana Sterbak, 1987, Flesh Dress for an Albino Anorectic, made of flank steak

Lady Gaga in meat dress for MTV Music Awards, 2010

And honestly, if you ever have time - google image search "food sculpture" and you will find amazing things - probably not what you are looking for...but you will find interesting things.

And so it goes - a half hour later and a wonky post comes together and isn't at all what I thought I was going to post about. Are you confused and feeling like I was all over the place? Me too. Especially because the images search took me on a ride and I did some laundry, made coffee and woke G up from bed in between all of the craziness above. Now, if I can only stick to one image and a concise idea...

Oh and immediacy? In some ways yes - but not in other ways. Oh well.

dollar dollar bills ya'll

2011-04-18T16:13:00.000-04:00

Today is tax day and of course I waited until the last minute to finish them. I could have made this dress three times over (plus some) with the money we owe the government. eeergggggh. seriously.

Cat Chow, Not for Sale, 2002, 1000 Shredded US Dollar bills,

fishing line, glue, dress form, list of 1000 sponsors, 72" x 30" x 26"

How was your Monday?

ear to ear

2011-04-15T08:13:00.000-04:00

Oh happy day! Oh happy Fri-day to be exact. Yes! It has been a long week for sure. Just thought I would leave you an image from one of my favorite artists - Liliana Porter.

It leaves me smiling from ear to ear. What does? Fridays AND Liliana Porter!

two things I saw on the internets recently...

2011-04-14T17:56:00.000-04:00

Murmur Study by Christopher Baker

from his website:
Murmur Study is an installation that examines the rise of micro-messaging technologies such as Twitter and Facebook’s status update. One might describe these messages as a kind of digital small talk. But unlike water-cooler conversations, these fleeting thoughts are accumulated, archived and digitally-indexed by corporations. While the future of these archives remains to be seen, the sheer volume of publicly accessible personal — often emotional — expression should give us pause.

This installation consists of 30 thermal printers that continuously monitor Twitter for new messages containing variations on common emotional utterances. Messages containing hundreds of variations on words such as argh, meh, grrrr, oooo, ewww, and hmph, are printed as an endless waterfall of text accumulating in tangled piles below.

The printed thermal receipt paper is then reused in future projects and exhibitions or recycled.

ipad light painting by the creative ad agency Dentsu London,

in collaboration with design consultancy BERG

.......and they piqued my interest and made me think about the future of art making. I think we gotta wear shades.

necks next

2011-04-13T11:53:00.000-04:00

My carpal tunnel is acting up a bit today so I will post images...I have about 15 pages of typed comments for students...and stayed up waaay to late to try and finish them and know my wrist is killing me. It is kind of crazy with end of the semester stuff around here. I haven't gotten much of a chance to think about my own work - but I do think I want to make a necklace to wear on thesis night...thinking something like this:

image from the sweat shop of love

in combination with a shape like this:

via Costa Verde

with a texture or material like this:

via

and maybe a color like this:

minus the people, of course.

Or if it is more knotty (than cloudy) - maybe a color like this:

I might also make something for my shoes, thanks for the advice kitty!

roots

2011-04-12T10:38:00.000-04:00

The rain is coming and frankly - I couldn't be happier - it makes everything green. Somehow when I walked outside today...I was shocked by the color of everything blooming in front of me...cherry trees blossoming, forsythia's bright yellow bursts smiling and the super super green grass is jumping towards the sky.

But somehow, my dill seedlings are wilting...I am not so good at nurturing plants. I am beginning to learn the balance between too much/not enough in how to deal with plants. Nurturing people? I think I am better at. Well, it is hard to say...but so far G seems to be a good balance of being herself, listening when she needs to and short moments of 2 year old frustration. Maybe parenting is a balance of attention and freedom just as seedlings are. Hmmm - that idea and process is to be continued...

The future is so bright...things are going well in our household these days lately and I couldn't feel more grateful. If only my pants were a little looser everything would be perfect!

I am currently showing Basquiat the movie to my students - I am am so lucky to introduce ideas, artists and art to such wonderful people.

an image of Jean Michel Basquiat and one of his paintings

And - in other news - I love you Philly. You will be our home for at least the next 18 years and I couldn't be happier. Having a city to call home - especially when it feels like home - is such a wonderful feeling. Now, time to sit, relax and continue planting roots.

wanna

2011-04-11T13:55:00.000-04:00

I am not sure quite what to write about today because frankly...it is 75 degrees out...and I wanna go outside. Wanna, wanna go outside. Hellooo - remember this one?

except I doooo wanna go outside.

Here is a link to a blog, Three is Enough. I am not sure about it...how can you boil art down to 3 words without being superficial? Somehow, the idea is clever and I love the artists (and work) that are shown. But I dunno. But you know what I know? I know I wanna go outside.

breakfast food

2011-04-08T12:25:00.000-04:00

It is raining...it is pouring and I have t-minus 2.5 hours and counting to get my booty up to the treehouse studio. Must.do.now.

well, after this post.

I have a yummy dinner planned for the fam tonight...I went to a Trinidadian restaurant this morning and got a bunch of doubles, some roti, curried goat and some curried chick peas. yuummmm.

Not sure what I plan to do in the studio when I get up there...but just being there will be good for me...I dream of working up there when I am doing other things. Longing for something is good, right?

I had crazy dreams last night which are very indicative of how I have been feeling. I spoke to two people on the phone (at different times) who said they were so and so. Come to find out - after a long conversation - they weren't who they said they were. hmmm. I also got lost a lot last night in my dreams and it took me forever to get home. Not so great. It may also be because I watched Shameless right before I went to bed. Maybe?

Well, let's get to a post already...can we? I guess you can tell my phone is broken and I haven't spoken much to others today. I saw a post for the Feminist Tea Party yesterday somewhere in my bloggy travels. I am totally intrigued...

Read a short blurb about it:
Our project lies somewhere between a contemporary consciousness-raising group, a performance, an installation and a joke. We wed two conceptions of a tea party: (1) the tea party as historical referent and site of political debate (think: the Boston Tea Party or the Beck/Palin “Tea Party”) with (2) the tea party as a gendered and highly-stylized ritual (think: 4 o’clock tea). Provoked by the Tea Party protests, our project recasts the “tea party” as a playful, progressive, inquisitive and inclusive space.

A Feminist Tea Party is an installation, a performance, a participatory event and a multi-faceted collaboration. At each event, we invite a new group of guests and, with them, a new conversation. We hope to engage with each of our guests, asking them to experience the space we have created, to perform within it by playing our game, to learn from each other in an open, supportive space for dialogue and, finally, to witness our collaboration and join us to make it their own.

I also love that they specify this:
Please join the conversation regardless of your gender, your political persuasion or whether you identify as feminist.

I think the reason I respond so strongly to this is because:
1. I did a bunch of research about Victorian stuff for the "Sitting Room" project at the Philadelphia Art Alliance and it piques my interest now
2. I love that the decor and outfits are super pretty, a little stuffy and involve lace and flowers
3. especially because they will be delving into politics and heated debate
4. and that anyone is welcome which means that
5. the content of what is talked about will shift drastically each time they have tea and therefore
6. they are allowing themselves to be vulnerable to whatever may happen which also means that
7. they must know their way around politics and
8. be able to cordially debate and disagree.

ug. It is killing me over here. They even have freakin cutesy food!

Everyone loves a great dichotomy, don't you? I eat 'em for breakfast.

no harm in trying.

2011-04-07T17:22:00.000-04:00

Helloooo! Did some of you come on over from Hub Bub, Diana Trout's blog? If so, welcome! I really had a sad excuse for a post today...

Well, how bout some morsels for you? Read this - but only if you don't mind the f sharp word. Thanks to T for posting it...it is a good kick in the booty. love it.

Or how about this piece from Lindsay Joy:

or this one:

Or maybe a piece made by Carole Baillargeon:

Or how about this one:

Welcome new and continuing readers! And yes - tomorrow is a studio day. I don't know what I will doooooooo with those couple of hours. Someone recently told me (in regards to something else) that often times things can't live up to the high expectations we place on them. No harm trying. Wish me luck peoples.

nothings wrong...just feelin the music today.

2011-04-07T11:36:00.000-04:00

For some reason - I just heard this song on a commercial and it is sooo speaking to me right now. Normally, Johnny Cash isn't my pace or taste but today...somehow it is right for right now.

It also makes me think of this song - one I haven't thought about for a while.

the barking dog

2011-04-06T11:47:00.000-04:00

inhale, exhale....so many meetings today. Lot's of talky talky will be happening today...so I am sneaking this few minutes to post.

After searching for a way to show part of the Universe of Keith Haring documentary today to my students...we snuck into a classroom elsewhere on campus for a few minutes...If you get a chance - check out this documentary - thank you instant viewing on netflix!

picture of Keith Haring drawing

I am not a huge fan of all of Keith Haring's work - especially stuff like this:

There is something too simple about the drawings and the colors...but that is probably why so many people DO like it.

The Arcadia Gallery has a show up right now of his subway drawings and it is a GOOD one. Especially when thinking about it in context of what it might have been like in the 80s in New York City. The threat of being arrested and the need to get images out for people to see is admirable and inspiring.

There is an interesting duality in the work since his death...drawings made quickly with chalk on blank billboards in the subway have come to be valued in the 100s of thousands of dollars. The best piece in the show is a 4'x8' sheet of plywood ripped off the wall...it is so much like art archeology - to see Haring's markings next to Jean Michel Basquiat's markings with posters, grime...you name it. There really aren't any images of it online...you gotta come see it!

Besides the fact...if you like Banksy...you'll probably like Haring's subway drawings.

A banksy haring themed piece

the three little piggies, plus one dog named ed

2011-04-05T16:56:00.000-04:00

Things have been crazier than normal lately. It is showing...especially in my lack of time to work on domestic tasks like putting clothes away, doing dishes, or frankly - anything. There is stuff everywhere. Oh well - my life is full of wonderful, amazing happy things that although they are "work" - they are fun. And I feel lucky to be able to do them.

I have been meaning to stop by the library and get a book to read - but really, if I can't get to the library - how am I going to find time to read?

I did find a spare 30 minutes yesterday to buy this (after a lot of - "it is too expensive" debate in my head):

I really only drink one cup of coffee a day. Lately, it has been a crappy cup I toil over at home or a quick $5 run to dunkin. Well, I reasoned with myself that $25 a week on coffee is a lot and in a months time - I would save enough to buy this machine. Oh, I also got the reusable filter so we don't have to buy the fancy cup things...and honestly - we are so excited over here. I am so afraid of buying expensive stuff that will become obsolete. The 8 tracks with no way to play them, the VHS tapes with no working VCR - who knows. But, I think this idea is pretty genius - it is here to stay. I hope. Well, if not - in comes the reusable filter. It is also going to be a big thing on the counter that isn't the most aesthetic. whatevs - it will make tasty coffee - and I am up for that. In fact, it might up my coffee intake but...it is better than eating a cookie, right?

and I got some more of these (Mare - I got 2 boxes...one for school!):

I actually stopped at Trader Joes to get these but they were all out of them:

They are seriously so fantastic...I can't even explain it to you. Give 'em a chance..you'll never go back to regular potato chips. no kidding. Husbandy went to another TJs and got 11 packages...he is so silly.

I am sooooo looking forward to a studio day on Friday. I might have to sneak in a little cleaning because otherwise, you'd thing a gang of piggies lived here (and a dog named ed).

On a side note:
This semester has been one of the most rewarding I have ever had in my teaching career. Somehow it is the perfect storm..except in a good way and no one gets hurt (well, not really). Put goodness into the world and it comes back to you. In some way, in some form at some point. The sun WILL come out tomorrow.

oooh and idea maybe....

2011-04-04T11:15:00.000-04:00

I am thinking of lazy summer days already...I have been trying to find good camping locations that aren't too far away...although it seems a June trip to Canada might be happening. Which is cool with me - even though it is a long drive with a 2 year old. St. Catherines is a quaint little town and I am up for an adventure. Aren't you?

I am working on designing a project for my students using the idea of technology...I want them to design something that is helpful to others...I love the creative process of brainstorming new projects for the students. Although I usually wait until the last minute which makes things more difficult - but hey, sometimes good ideas don't happen until the pressure strikes. Right?

I just googled "artistic adventure" - hmmmm. I am thinking about having the students create work that is for someone else. Maybe a collaborative project where we set up during class hours somewhere else on campus? Maybe they create work for someone else...I have been thinking about connecting students with someone on campus and having them make a piece for or about them. Ooooh yes, maybe a multiples project is in order? Allan McCollum comes to mind with his Shapes Project. Blurb from his website about the project that he started in 2005:

A large quantity of unique shapes, one for every person on the planet when the world population peaks in the middle of the twenty-first century.

You can read an article about his project below.

The Shape of
Things to Come

Putting a human face on the impending
population explosion, artist Allan McCollum
continues a career-long fascination with
astronomical figures, symbolic systems
and the manufacture of meaning

oooh - this has got me thinking....maybe I will have the students create projects for everyone in the class - including another person on campus (but not a student, or maybe just not for someone enrolled in this class).

OK - onto other things today (while I continue to think about this) ...Happy Monday...how are all of you?

worthy of a repost

2011-04-01T14:11:00.000-04:00

It is that time of year - I feel like I need to read this. It is a letter to Eva Hesse from Sol Lewitt.

Dear Eva,
It will be almost a month since you wrote to me and you have possibly forgotten your state of mind (I doubt it though). You seem the same as always, and being you, hate every minute of it. Don’t! Learn to say “Fuck You” to the world once in a while. You have every right to. Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, grasping, confusing, itchin, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, numbling, rumbling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO!

From your description, and from what I know of your previous work and you [sic] ability; the work you are doing sounds very good “Drawing-clean-clear but crazy like machines, larger and bolder… real nonsense.” That sounds fine, wonderful – real nonsense. Do more. More nonsensical, more crazy, more machines, more breasts, penises, cunts, whatever – make them abound with nonsense. Try and tickle something inside you, your “weird humor.” You belong in the most secret part of you. Don’t worry about cool, make your own uncool. Make your own, your own world. If you fear, make it work for you – draw & paint your fear and anxiety. And stop worrying about big, deep things such as “to decide on a purpose and way of life, a consistant [sic] approach to even some impossible end or even an imagined end” You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. Then you will be able to DO!
I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good. Try to do some BAD work – the worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let everything go to hell – you are not responsible for the world – you are only responsible for your work – so DO IT. And don’t think that your work has to conform to any preconceived form, idea or flavor. It can be anything you want it to be. But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working – then stop. Don’t punish yourself. However, I think that it is so deeply engrained in you that it would be easier to DO!

It seems I do understand your attitude somewhat, anyway, because I go through a similar process every so often. I have an “Agonizing Reappraisal” of my work and change everything as much as possible = and hate everything I’ve done, and try to do something entirely different and better. Maybe that kind of process is necessary to me, pushing me on and on. The feeling that I can do better than that shit I just did. Maybe you need your agony to accomplish what you do. And maybe it goads you on to do better. But it is very painful I know. It would be better if you had the confidence just to do the stuff and not even think about it. Can’t you leave the “world” and “ART” alone and also quit fondling your ego. I know that you (or anyone) can only work so much and the rest of the time you are left with your thoughts. But when you work or before your work you have to empty you [sic] mind and concentrate on what you are doing. After you do something it is done and that’s that. After a while you can see some are better than others but also you can see what direction you are going. I’m sure you know all that. You also must know that you don’t have to justify your work – not even to yourself. Well, you know I admire your work greatly and can’t understand why you are so bothered by it. But you can see the next ones and I can’t. You also must believe in your ability. I think you do. So try the most outrageous things you can – shock yourself. You have at your power the ability to do anything.

I would like to see your work and will have to be content to wait until Aug or Sept. I have seen photos of some of Tom’s new things at Lucy’s. They are impressive – especially the ones with the more rigorous form: the simpler ones. I guess he’ll send some more later on. Let me know how the shows are going and that kind of stuff.

My work had changed since you left and it is much better. I will be having a show May 4 -9 at the Daniels Gallery 17 E 64yh St (where Emmerich was), I wish you could be there. Much love to you both.

Sol

I feel better already. Don't you?

100

2011-03-31T12:32:00.000-04:00

I love this project: 100 colors, 100 writings, 100 days

A short blurb from the link above:
Every day for one hundred days (from October 30, 2008 to February 6, 2009) I picked a paint chip out of a bag and responded to it with a short writing. I have selected my favorite forty, titling each writing with the number of the day it was written (out of 100) and the name of the color from that day’s paint chip. This project was generated in Michael Bierut’s 100 Day Workshop at the Yale School of Art.

Here are a few examples:

23 Pale Orchid
She was the best reader in third grade. She knew it. We all knew it.

If we were lucky, we had a thing we were best at. Josh was the best swimmer. Michael was the best at math. Liora had the best clothes. I was the tallest. Being tallest meant I was often line leader, asked to reach things, mistaken for a fourth grader. But my superlative was born of dumb luck. Reading was a real skill. And I hated her for it.
She read in a smug, fluid sing-song, rarely bothered keying her inflection to aspects of the content, ignored most punctuation. Speed and precision were it. One afternoon, her turn came to read from a text about the tropical rain forest. “The tropical rain forest is a forest of tall trees in a region of year-round warmth. An average of 50 to 260 inches of rain falls yearly.” etc, etc. It poured out of her in an unrelenting cascade of perfect. “Some of the better-known epiphytes include ferns, lichens, mosses, cacti, bromeliads, and orchids.” Wait, did she just say orCHids? The corners of my mouth turned up in a terrible, triumphant grimace. But it’s or-Kids.

I mouthed the word. Meanwhile, she stumbled. She knew something had gone horribly wrong, but it was too late.

30 Daffodil Yellow
Margarine. Or, more accurately, marge. My brother and I were furious when our mother tried to reintroduce butter to the dinner table. Was it like the chocolate milk in the fridge and the donuts on the counter, treats we gulped down sulkily — sweet reminders of our father’s fresh absence from the house? No, I think we just liked margarine. Fleischmann’s. It came in a white plastic tub with a translucent lid, perfect for storing leftover cranberry sauce or beads. Like its tub, marge was shiny and molded. A cheery, synthetic daffodil yellow. Compared to marge, butter was just a dumpy, boxy old thing. Always too hard or too soft, didn’t taste like much.

32 Apple Orchard
People love their Granny Smiths, eat them like meals. They chomp and slosh around in there with such gusto, like it’s meat, like they’re horses, like someone might take it. I don’t. Granny Smiths have too much fight in them. I love a challenging fruit, but Granny Smiths are sour and hard, and the sound of someone biting into one gives me the chills.

39 Par Four Green
We went to Palm Springs every year of my life until Maurice died. He died there, that paradisaical oasis in the living desert, where the streets are called Dinah Shore and Bob Hope and where the many branches of Bank of America are all irresistible shades of California modern, far away from his cold flat home on the Canadian prairie. When they could swing it, he and Cynthia rented a condo right on a golf course. Sometimes golf balls flew through the kitchen window, which I found terrifying and everyone else seemed to think hilarious and exhilarating. I hated those immaculate, hazardous lawns but loved the beds of snapdragons that lined them. When I heard Maurice was dead, my first thought was, At last! My grandfather has been fatally struck by a golf ball.

I can see how the writing could be drastically different depending on the writer. The writing in this project seems to be coming from memory - which is interesting in a voyeuristic kind of way. For some reason, the memories linked to food intrigue me the most. Happy rainy Thursday. Enjoy!

Remember: the sun will come out tomorrow!

letter to a former student (edited version)

2011-03-30T14:50:00.001-04:00

Dear John,

It is great to hear from you! What you are experiencing is normal for students after they graduate college. It is difficult to make time to do creative things, that is for sure. You need to find ways - small moments of time to do a little something here and there. To start something creative after a long drought is difficult - instead, you need to keep the flow going. Making work creates more ideas...which leads to great ideas. I find having something creative to do every day keeps me happy.

If you feel like you need the extra push...get involved with some stuff online - like - http://dribbble.com/ - or begin a blog. I write on mine everyday M-F. I made a promise to myself that I would and some days - it is the only creative outlet I have - even though I am knee deep with students making stuff everyday.

Creative people - writers, musicians, artists - always have the ups and downs - but a creative way of life is about longevity. It is about finding ways to weave it into your life, in your way, for you. Instant hits don't happen very often...this is a marathon - as corny as that may sound - but it is true.

Just start something. Get a good sketchbook, buy a fancy new pen - write, doodle, something. It will come back to you. Don't lay too many expectations on yourself of what things are, where they will lead, what they mean - just do.

I also asked a friend of mine what advice he would give and he said this:
I would tell him to just do something or anything creative everyday. It doesn't have to be big or important, but just stay busy doing something. Drawing especially, he just needs to go somewhere and draw stuff, everyday. Tell him to keep a daily sketchbook and the rest will take care of itself. Even if he's just doing still-life stuff, he'll at least be developing his craft further so when he does have an idea, it'll flow naturally. I think creativity goes through it's ups and downs, but you have to keep doing stuff so that when it rebounds, you're ready to do the work.

Hope you are well.
Carole

I got it! I got it!

2011-03-29T04:11:00.000-04:00

I got into this Art in the Open Philadelphia 2011. Yay!

Here is a snippet of my proposal:

Statement for Art in the Open - Philadelphia

What compels me to apply for this opportunity is that Art in the Open brings to life the philosophy that art should be accessible and available to viewers from all walks of life – not only the patrons of art museums. As a maker, this is a philosophy I strongly believe in. I love that Art in the Open also links creative works to the city – conceptually (about the city), aesthetically (images of the city) through location (along the river bank) and interaction with viewers.

I enjoy creating new works developed around a particular idea or challenge. I have been thinking about a number of ideas that invite interaction from the viewer and it is perfect timing to continue to develop these ideas for Art in the Open.

My preliminary idea for Art in the Open is to have viewers help me to construct a modified wish tree. The work would need a tree whose branches are low enough to reach at arms length or with a short ladder. I would prepare 30’ long red satin ribbons – on one end there will be a paper tag attached where the viewer can write a wish they have. On the other end of the 30’ long red satin ribbon there will be a stake. The viewer will write their wish on the paper tag and tie it to the tree and then be asked to carry the ribbon with them and plant the stake along the path they take to go elsewhere.

This project allows the viewers to see that they have similar wishes as other people, understand that they are not alone (by the sheer numbers of ribbons tied) and see that they travel similar “paths” as others. This project is meant to make ideas, dreams and the varied (and similar) paths we take everyday tangible.

I am really excited about creating this work...or rather, preparing the materials so the viewer can create the work.

Basically, the piece is going to be a maypole combined with a wish tree...

sort of like this:

and this:

and the location will be kind of like this:

along the schuylkill banks.

P.S. - Philly, I love you.

ice cold daydream

2011-03-29T04:01:00.000-04:00

an installation by Rachel Hayes. Loving the title, loving the work.

Reminded me a bit of this installation piece I did in Chicago at the in ARC Gallery in 2004:

My installation had a totally different feel and was about warmth and comfort. I quilted the entire ceiling in red fabric and lit it from above. The monitor had a video (and sound piece) that reinforced the idea of warmth. The sound component (and all of my sound pieces) are done in collaboration with my friend - of almost 10 years - Darby...check his awesomeness here.

photo embroidery

2011-03-27T22:36:00.000-04:00

I am a fan...this work isn't normally something I am attracted to but these are great:

Maurizio Anzeri

His website is under construction but look here if you want to see more.

seeing red

2011-03-27T09:37:00.007-04:00

Somehow I hit blogging, googling gold. I have been finding so much great stuff lately and I am overwhelmed by the amazingness and quantity of it all. So, let's start on a Sunday!

Aaaand, I am starting another piece today I am really excited about. Yay!

On a side note, I saw this yesterday...it is only up until March 30th and I would recommend going to New York if you possibly can.

I will write a post this week after I have digested it a little more. If I can say one word about it...powerful.

Embroidered Tablecloth, Hella Jongerius

From her website:
The designer’s unique aesthetic has often been described as a fusion of opposites; manufacturing and craft; high and low tech; traditional and contemporary. Materials are brought together in unusual and often contradictory ways, creating works that are extremely textural and beg to be touched: rough edged leather is rolled to create wheels; paint is dripped messily onto earthenware; ceramics are sewn onto cotton table cloths; vases are soft and sinks are made from rubber.

sunny

2011-03-25T14:55:00.000-04:00

These are some of the pieces I have been working on...I have felt compelled to do them. And it feels good. I have another version of this going right now too. The image above is on the floor - against one of the curvy walls. Don't mind the funky colored carpet.

There are 15 of 'em and a bunch more with grey blobbies

The materials are canvas, acrylic paint and embroidery floss

I don't really know what they are. But they feel good and I am going to continue going down the road that feels right...not sure what the destination is but I'm trying not to think about it too much.

Happy sun shiney friday! Is my optimism bothering you too much? lo siento. not really.

plop? nooooo blob.

2011-03-24T14:32:00.000-04:00

plop art? noooo. blob art?

white felted blob art?

high school blob art?

More to come, more to come...loving these as visual inspiration at this moment.

addicted to sunshine (and rainy days) (and clouds)

2011-03-24T12:28:00.000-04:00

I think I want to do a piece loosely based on this song:

Not kidding. Definitely one of my favorites. Maybe the piece I have been working on will have slight references to that song. *maybe* I already have a piece based on this song:

The piece is called Sunshine and Rain. On each of the pieces is a small cloud or a small sun. I enjoy abstract references to pop culture.

One of my favorite things about being an artist is that we can have our own secrets about the work. Secrets that aren't important to communicate in the work - but that are inspirational to us.

oooh maybe this one would be good too:

Am I "dating" myself? Probably - whatevs. Ooh - can you tell I love the new blogger software? It lets me upload video a lot easier.

The sun will come out tomorrow lyrics:
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya
Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

What I really love about this song is the optimism and uplifting-ness of it all. strong. light. happy.

and for fun and click forward to about the 4:49 mark:

That is a good way to end the post, no?

a few random thoughts, again

2011-03-23T16:18:00.000-04:00

This is just like facebook, isn't it? Quick - status like - updates. Pushing that yucky post down. Down you go bad bad post.

I refuse to ever type LOL. Maybe I will type ROFL or something like that but really - it is like looking at someone when they say, "That is really funny" but they aren't laughing. I KNOW you aren't laughing out loud. No one does that - not often - and not when they are alone.

I have been thinking about doing a new project, a post every minute? One post every hour for 24 hours? how can THIS blog be art? The Happiness Project Book has gotten me thinking about what we do in our spare time. Whatever you cut time out to do - even when you are super busy - must be important. I blog. I go to the thrift store and buy quilts. How can these be art?

By the way, I am beginning to see the appeal of embroidery. It gives me an almost instant gratification and sense of accomplishment. Plus, I love the accoutrement of sewing.

whoa

2011-03-23T15:19:00.000-04:00

From Joetta's Maue's blog:

I have always loved the Chinese idea of the "red string of fate."

According to this myth, the gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of men and women who are destined to be soul mates and will one day marry each other. The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of time, place or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. This myth is similar to the Western concept of or a twin flame. via wickipedia

Love this idea...my secret - hush - hush - happy art I have been making involves red thread...hmmmm.

wednesday

2011-03-23T15:14:00.000-04:00

Quick, how many posts can I add to force yesterday's post off of the page? Don't know but I will try. I wanted to take a few minutes to put down in words things I have been thinking about.

I realized this week that an unhappy 2 year old stems from not being in control. (not that she has been unhappy that much) I have begun letting G make more decisions on things that she can feel good about (and that I can let her). I think she is happier - there seems to be less crying anyway. You want to wear a green shirt with pink shoes? fine. You want noodles instead of rice? ok by me. You want to run across the parking lot not holding my hand? no way.

Without doing it on purpose I make work that is happy and twisted at the same time. Ambiguity is my friend. Shhh, don't wake up the art gods...I've been slowly working on stuff that I pretty happy with. weeehooo. Ideas are coming to me....yay. shhh. yay. shhh.

I have been using the stickie application on my computer like crazy. Most of them are to do lists. Here is a list of important words about my work:
mistakes
quick
not looking back
chance
letting go of control
easy to transport, something out of nothing
floating, moving, changing
getting out of my own way
ambiguity
body like organic forms, blobs
wonky imperfect is perfect

I started cataloging my food intake again today. I binged on mini 3 musketeer bars last night. yuck.

And apparently my body type is "brick" I have been trying to pick out clothes for a night out...not fun.

Can you believe it is Wednesday already? I can't!

12 minutes

2011-03-22T10:50:00.000-04:00

and time to run downstairs and go to class.

I was thinking today as I drove to school - I am not sure what purpose this blog is meant to have...is it my art? my teaching? my parenting? I realized...it is me...all of those things rolled into one. So - I am going to post about my weight. I haven't up until now - I am not sure why...maybe because it is a sensitive topic. Probably. Also because I think some of my students read this blog and I don't want them to think I am a woman concerned with my looks over anything else.

I was also thinking today - I have been trying to loose ten pounds half hearted-ly for over a year now. I lost a bunch of the baby weight...I gained A LOT when I was pregnant. But hey, I was pregnant in the summer, cut a girl some slack.

I am tired of tracking what I eat everyday, I am tired of feeling bad because I ate something I shouldn't have. I am tired about not being happy about the way I look. I have a daughter and I want her to be proud of who she is, what she knows and what she looks like - no matter what. I have pretty much been a person who doesn't care about my weight. Well, up until I gave birth. I knew it was going to happen and I will take 20 extra pounds any day in exchange for my G.

My pants are tight and I am uncomfortable. Yes, I would love to loose 10 pounds. Heck, 20 would be better. I am sure I would have more energy. But for now, my energy is going into being the best mom and wife (and sister and friend and teacher) that I can be. Being a mom of a two year old is fun and to be honest with you, maybe I am a little lazy about eating right and I know I should be exercising. But for right now, I just want to be happy, I want to enjoy the little moments here and there. I don't want to spend energy and time feeling bad about the number on the scale or the sugar in the coffee I just drank.

I know I am not alone in these feelings or in this struggle. One minute - I'm all like, "I am woman, hear me roar and if I want to eat a package of cookies - it is MY decision. yeah!" and the next minute when I see a skinny woman at target, the gas station - wherever - I think to myself "I bet she is happy, skinny people are happy". I know better - especially because for a woman who is overweight...I am pretty darn happy. I know that women of all shapes and sizes feel like crap about themselves. And for the few that don't - I am sure I can learn something from them. But seriously, we should be healthy people. We should feel good about ourselves. We should celebrate the things that we love about ourselves and the things that are good.

Weight issues, what I eat and how tired I feel consumes so much energy of my day. It didn't seem right not to talk about it here. Now my secret is out. I am not happy with the way I look and I wish I was - I used to be. For now, I am going to focus on the good things, the things that are going well, the things that make me happy. I am pretty sure about 10 minutes from now I will read this post and regret that I wrote anything at all. So is the nature of the interwebs...one minute a thought...next minute it's published.

And finally, what I have realized about myself is that it is important for people to see me as a "strong" in a multitude of ways. I am not sure how it came about, but I know it is important to me. Talking about my weight and self-image issues contradicts the very definition of someone strong. And such is life - a series of contradictions...

verde

2011-03-21T22:09:00.000-04:00

Well, it only took one hour to put G to sleep tonight (yay!)...so here I am blogging...switching up the template and trying the new blogger software (again). Hope it is better this time around. So far so good. Although I really enjoyed the last drippy, rainy template for this blog - I realized it was difficult to to read the white text on the dark background. It reminded me too much of one of those cheesy celebrity siting websites - of which I can't find right now. But next time msn.com suggests one I will post it for you.

I am going to attempt to make a little art right now...I've got it all set up downstairs - so I don't walk around on the 3rd floor and wake anybody up. wish me luck...and happy spring!

4 women

2011-03-21T11:04:00.002-04:00

I found my new favorite blog this weekend - well, actually three new favorite blogs. I found these woven hair images via Joetta Maue. Click that link if you know what's good for you. Or actually, don't - especially if you only have a few minutes - the wealth of images, information and discussion is awesome and will suck you in (in a good way)!

I also found Nice Girl Notes, which is one of the funniest parenting blogs I have ever read. Ever. And I read a lot of blogs.

And lastly, check this one out - Joanne Mattera - today is Marketing Monday of her blog.

Oh and maybe this one too drop cloth.

And did I just make a post with a bunch of links? yup. It's a rainy Monday and I have stuff to do!

Be well and stay warm.

sunshine day

2011-03-18T09:43:00.003-04:00

Today is the last official day of my spring break. G is off from school and I have a felting workshop to teach tonight.

We have been lazy slugs so far this morning and it feels weird. I feel a little guilty for not doing too much yet today...but frankly, we are up and out of the house Monday through Friday by 8:15 a.m. So...I am going to try to not feel bad about it anymore. Especially because I plan on taking my girl out to the zoo this afternoon and maybe a special lunch.

I spent a lot of the morning reading blogs while g watched Ni Hao Kai-lan and Sesame Street. I am feeling pretty inspired - I read a LOT posts on the Munoz Family blog. I think I was feeling especially interested in it after watching the Wasteland documentary last night. It is a documentary film about Vik Muniz's work with the recycling pickers in one of the largest landfills in the world outside of Rio de Janiero, Brazil. It is available on instant queue on netflix.

Here is an image from that series:

This is one of my favorite images from the series. These are giant portraits (that are photographed) made out of recycled material pulled out from the landfill. The works are made by a small group of the workers with Muniz. The documentary shines a light on the power that art can have - how it can bring change, hope and a change the future of peoples' lives.

In other news, our taxes are done. And we owe AGAIN. But, the sun is shining and it is projected to be 73 freakin degrees today! wooooooooohooooooooo. I couldn't be happier to have spring on the way. Even if it means all next week it will be raining - I will take what I can.

I am thinking about making G a comforter for her bed - all the blankets and quilts I have are too thin and she says she is cold...so, I may also try to do that today - in between going to the zoo and teaching the felting class. Am I crazy? I think so. Especially since we have a lot of other little everyday chores to take care of before we head out to the zoo. But...if it helps her sleep better (and less wiggly and restless) it is worth trying to squeeze it in today. I have tried to fold bigger blankets but she always seems to unfold them in her sleep and then gets cold and wakes up.

G's favorite toys right now are small blankets (i.e. - washcloths, kitchen towels, napkins) to put all her babies to "take a nap" and post it notes. She posts them everywhere and does little drawings on them. There is one on my hand right now as I type...she toddled over and said "for youuu" and pasted it to my hand. Along with the magnet with a cupcake pictured on it sitting on my left knee and a entire pad of yellow post its (with a drawing on the back) on my right knee.

Happy sun shiney Friday to all of you! I should have posted this yesterday for St. Patrick's Day - may you always be on Sunny Side of the Street (by the Pogues).

Or how about Sunshine Day by the Brady Bunch? That is a good one too.

Happy Sunshine Day!

yesterday

2011-03-17T09:59:00.002-04:00

I went to the Seaport Museum with my parents yesterday. It was an interesting place and I realized there is one thing I love about boats...the canvas material and the signal flags. oooh. There was a canvas organizer labeled from a to z and each one had a pocket...in the pocket was the signal flag...loved it and I can't find a picture of it anywhere.

But really, I will take anything with old canvas. ug. love it!

Like old camping gear made out canvas. yumm. I love the feeling of history - like yellowed paper.

It is sort of an irrational love that I forgot about. hmmmm - I have been feeling to work on small pieces of canvas...I think I may hear the siren of the studio...now if I can only get up there today....wheehoo.

Oh - and a side note - when I was a teenager playing the ouijia board - it said I has irish heritage. My sister always made fun of me for it. She would send me flowers, books, socks - all sorts of stuff that had anything to do with being irish on St. Patrick's Day. My question was always...where can you explain where my reddish hair came from? Anyway, I stopped pretending...but today - everyone is Irish, right? Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Another side note:
My spring break is almost over and I had no studio time. How did that happen? booooooo.

stuck?

2011-03-15T07:27:00.002-04:00

So apparently, I can't step away from the computer. I have too many things swirling around in my head.

For one:

I don't think I can watch HGTV anymore. It makes me too anxious will all of the little things that need to be fixed in the house. And some of the things that need fixing I can't do - so...as you can imagine - I put pressure on my already over worked husbandy. Note to self: lay off HGTV. Read a book or something instead.

And another:

I was surprised yesterday (pleasantly) by art at the Fabric Workshop I thought I wouldn't like. Lesson learned, again. Art in person is waaay different than an image.

Piece by Jiha Moon, currently on view at the Fabric Workshop and Museum.

I really didn't think I would like this work - it was the TOTAL opposite...this image involves screen printing, paint, marker, and stickers. The sense of depth and color is amazing - so much more than this image. Check out her site...it is amazing. I will try to post some other pieces from the New American Voices II exhibition soon.

Artistic spirit = nourished. Even though I got stuck in a parking lot because I lost the ticket - for those of you that know...this is a very very stupid (and expensive) mistake. That is what I get for splurging on a parking spot.

I have a to do list for each day of my spring break. Tomorrow's list is "have lunch with mom and dad, go the art museum". Those are the only things on the list...it isn't your "normal" to do list. Or my normal one - anyway. I built in some activities that are just for me...things to inspire me and make me feel refreshed. Today's list isn't as fun...clean, clean, clean. But - I will take it in an exchange for tomorrow!

Hope you are all well wherever you are...spring is coming, it was dark out when we woke up and I could hear birdies chirping. And I am starting to feel drawn up to the studio. It feels good but I won't give in until I feel a little more compelled to go up there.

step away from the computer.

2011-03-13T23:31:00.003-04:00

Maracas Beach, Tobago

I can't believe I have actually been on this very beach. Granted, it was over 10 years ago. sheesh. Time flies and all of that. I will be dreaming of the beach while I get some work done during spring break. I might post if something pressing comes up - but in general, I will try to step away from the computer.

step awaaay from the computer.

fixin to

2011-03-11T09:33:00.002-05:00

Next week is spring break. weeehooooo, sort of?

This is my to do list from last year:

finish taxes and have an outcome where we don't owe anything - wish me luck
take my laptop to get a new CD/DVD drive
begin working on LARGE (8'x12') mural-sized wall painting - and really clean out and set up studio
Clean the house a bit? At the bottom of the list but the floor should really be mopped
do some school work - like rec letters and help layout student thesis exhibition
watch a movie by myself - with undivided attention
hopefully get confirmation about my good news (and begin working on it)
get a massage (or haircut) with the gift certificate I just got in the mail!!! yippee!
trade in some clothes to the consignment shop (and empty my trunk)
clean out my car
read - like in the middle of the day

I would like to add (for the 2011 edition):

take a long walk in the woods
go to lunch with my parents
finish up school work today (before the technical start of break)
have a play date with a friend (which g and I rarely get to do)
go to the Philadelphia Art Museum and see the Robert Gober piece
go to the Fabric Workshop

Not sure what else, but what I do know is that this is too much to get done in a week. Maybe it should be called a spring fix?

my guru

2011-03-10T06:55:00.004-05:00

I just wanted to spend a few minutes (well a whole post actually) about my friend Diana.

Here is a link to her inspiring blog: Hub Bub
and a link to her website: Diana Trout
and one for her Youtube channel: Diana Trout's channel
and a link to her etsy shop: Diana Trout's etsy shop

and another linky to amazon where you can buy her book: Journal Spilling

Seriously, this mama is everywhere. She is about to take over all of the interwebs with her inspiration! Love it.

She is a dreamer - can't you tell?

What truly amazes me about Diana is her energy and commitment to this amazing art thing that we do. I enjoy her humor, her dedication, her honesty and frankly - she is a bad ass.

Part of the reason why I enjoy being a part of mamacita is because of women like Diana. When I am down and out...they give me inspiration and kick my overtired, overwhelmed but in gear.

and finally here is a link for her online journal spill class. You should do it. really, you should. like totally. fo reals.

I realize there aren't any pictures of her art on this post - it is because I couldn't choose just one. Go dig around in the links above and I am sure you will find a piece you love.

humpty

2011-03-09T10:54:00.005-05:00

What to talk about, what to talk about?

The fact that:

the crazy busy time of the year gets crazier and busier as the years go by?
I am always "busy"? Aren't you? ug - I hate it.
G played catch, kickball, and "step and throw" last night with her dad in the living room. It was the best time I have had in a while (let me rephrase - it was the most relaxing, I love to be with my family, happy, content, life is wonderful feeling - I have had in a while).
my first year students continue to inspire me with their honesty, creativity and hard work.
I really, really want to take some time to send out proposals for shows but have yet found the time to do so.
I feel the need for a long walk. even though I hate exercise. like - A LOT!
it is important to have your voice be heard and in turn it to hear and respect the voices of others.
I need to start saying no to volunteer opportunities that take me away from what I really want my life (and my art) to be about.
I need to say thank you more to the people around me.
I finished reading this book this weekend and it made me think about a lot of things.

Happy hump day peoples.

feets feats

2011-03-08T16:20:00.002-05:00

Almost exactly a year ago I blogged about this book here:

Guess what book I bought at Target yesterday in a midday run to get more milk? You got it. I think it is some kind of a sign. I also realized that I get bummed out and have artists block/despair in March. Thank you bloggie a.k.a. record of my life for showing me the patterns in my behavior (as seasonal and spread out they may be).

I actually sent out an application for a show yesterday. One I am totally excited about...cross your fingers - this lady could use some artistic fire under my butt. Now - on to submitting proposals for more shows and reading. Yes - that crazy past time. Now if I could only step away from the computer and episodes of the Jersey Shore that would be great. A feat really.